Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Text of Obama's Jobs Speech Leaked
Sep 6, 2011, 14:30
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The text of President Obama's major address about jobs, scheduled to be delivered before a joint session of Congress Thursday night, has been obtained by the Washington Post's Bob Woodward.
Although Mr. Woodward declined to say how he had obtained the text, he did say he was surprised at "the boldness of President Obama's vision and his willingness to think outside the box." He was also impressed with the brevity of Mr. Obama's speech, presented below in it's entirety.
"My Fellow Americans,
"I have come here tonight--though I would have preferred to have come here last night--to talk to you about jobs: Steve Jobs. As you probably know, Mr. Jobs resigned his post as CEO of Apple recently, so he, like many of you, is now employed.
"I can empathize with Mr. Jobs because some people think I'll be unemployed before long. I further empathize with this great American because—as he once was—I am widely considered to be a failure. Remember, Mr. Jobs' own company voted him out in 1985, just nine years after he had founded the organization.
"How did that work out for Apple? By 1996 the company was weeks away from bankruptcy and had to ask Mr. Jobs to return and save it's bacon; and save the bacon he did, authoring the greatest comeback in corporate history.
"I like to think I see a lot of Mr. Jobs in myself: the brilliance and the strength of character, the patience and tenacity, the willingness to work for a shared solution rather than insisting that my way is the best way. Those are the qualities I will bring to the table if my opponents will let me: qualities that will show even my harshest critics what American workers and American business and the American economy can achieve in a truly bipartisan effort.
"In closing let me remind you that Mr. Jobs has succeeded because he doesn't start with compromise and doesn't give away bargaining chips before negotiations have even begun. Those are the virtues that made Steve Jobs a success, and those are the virtues I will use to put America back to work."
In related news, Speaker of the House, John Boehner, announced after reading a copy of President Obama's speech: "I know Steve Jobs, Mr. President, and you're no Steve Jobs."
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Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.
Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
