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Your Seldom Daily Horoscope
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Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
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The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
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Postcards the Book
Cover of the book Postcards from the Pug Bus.The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
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How Well Do You Know Justin Bieber's Johnson?
Sep 26, 2011, 09:04
an image
"Wanna touch my Johnson,
little girl?"
HOLLYWOOD - Last month Justin Bieber turned up at the MTV Video Music Awards with a snake in his right hand. During a pre-show interview with Selena Gomez, Mr. Bieber, seventeen, revealed that the snake's name is Johnson. He then asked several young ladies if they wanted to touch his Johnson.

This was all duly noted by TMZ, X17, and other literary journals. As usual, however, these sources either stuck to the facts or made them up. Either way there was none of the probing and creative reporting that one can find only at Postcards from the Pug Bus.

While other websites see things that exist and ask why, Postcards sees things that don't exist and asks why the fuck not. Therefore, we present now our most recent Teachable Moment Quiz©, an exercise in which even the wrong answers have their own reasons for believing they're right.

1. Justin Bieber's Johnson is . . .
a) laughably small even for his size, b) covered with scales, c) a gift from a friend, d) hungry for love

2. Justin Bieber likes to . . . with his Johnson.
a) play, b) sleep, c) scare people, d) take showers

3. The first person ever to touch Justin Bieber's Johnson was . . .
a) his mother, b) himself, c) Selena Gomez, d) his uncle Stiffy

4. Justin Bieber's is the first Johnson to have . . .
a)an agent, b) a Twitter account, c) a passport, d) a bodyguard

5. Justin Bieber's Johnson likes to eat . . .
a) Girl Scouts, b) lint, c) pregnant mice, d) pussy



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© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.

 

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The Fuck It List

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Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die
1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.