Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Tim Lincecum Blames His Dog, Others for Trashing Townhouse
Oct 7, 2011, 13:21
SAN FRANCISCO - Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum blames his dog, Cy, and others for the damage caused to a townhouse formerly occupied by Mr. Lincecum in San Francisco's Mission District. In a disjointed phone call to The Jim Rome Show yesterday, Mr. Lincecum (13-14, 2.74 ERA) explained that his four-year-old French bulldog suffers from separation anxiety and "gets a little hyper if he's left alone."
Mr. Lincecum, 27, was sued Wednesday in San Francisco Superior Court by Mindy Freile, a former landlady, for allegedly causing $350,000 worth of damage to the furnished townhouse he had rented from her.
Before he could explain how long it had taken Cy to trash the townhouse, Mr. Lincecum's connection to the Rome Show was suddenly terminated. When Mr. Lincecum called back, he continued:
"Yeah, man. Like I was saying, I lent the apartment to Brian Wilson (the Giants heavily bearded closer) one weekend. When I got back, the place looked like the hotel in Hangover I. Hey, dude, I think you're breaking up."
According to Ms. Freile's suit, shortly after Mr. Lincecum's lease on the townhouse at 141 Hampshire Street had expired on February 28, this year, he reoccupied the unit without her permission and remained there through May 13.
After trying unsuccessfully to evict Mr. Lincecum, Ms. Freile entered the unit and discovered extensive damage to "bedding, doors, carpets, pillows, kitchenware, linens, furniture, household appliances, art work, decorations, patio furniture, lights, lamps and mirrors, among other things."
Upon reconnecting with the Rome Show a second time, Mr. Lincecum, who earned $14 million this season, revealed that he was calling from his car "somewhere on Interstate 5 near Vancouver, Washington, I think.
"Like I was saying, the pet sitter must have forgotten to walk Cy for a few days, and he got into some of my, uh, my personal belongings. He's usually pretty mellow, but when he gets . . . I can't hear you, man. Oh shit, there's a cop car in back of me. Hey, I gotta split."
Although Mr. Lincecum—who is also known as The Freak and Bongwater Billy—has a reputation for being a hard-partying slacker, a former neighbor in the Mission District describes him as a regular guy.
"I used to see him in the evenings, watering plants or walking around looking for his house keys."
The current lawsuit is not Mr. Lincecum's first legal dustup. Three years ago he was cited for speeding and possession of marijuana.
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Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.
Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
