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Having trouble timing the waves these days? After you've leapt nimbly onto your board, does the big one slam you to the ocean floor every damn time? Chill out, surfer person. It isn't Alzheimer's. Or Lyme disease. Or AADD. You forgot to set your clock ahead in April. When the big hand's on the little hand, sing a Beach Boys song. Most of them couldn't surf either.
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The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
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Postcards the Book
Cover of the book Postcards from the Pug Bus.The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
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Illegal Immigration in a Nutsack
Oct 22, 2011, 09:31
an image

HARLINGEN, Texas - While some Republican presidential candidates have been campaigning on various schemes to keep illegal immigrants out of the United States—building the mother of all electrified fences along the border with Mexico or digging a fifty-yard-wide moat and filling it with sewer water and rabid alligators—the Obama Administration has quietly deported a record number of illegals, nearly 400,000, during the last year alone.

This fact has not been lost on the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), which claims that the administration's policies unfairly impact Mexicans with the most common surnames.

"This is a clear case of bias," said ACLU Executive Director Anthony Romero. "When a person stands a four-times greater chance of being deported if his or her last name is Sanchez rather than Ruiz, there is something fundamentally flawed with government policy. We will not rest until all undocumented immigrants—Hector Ruiz as well as Carlos Sanchez—have an equal opportunity of being deported."

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© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.

 
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The Fuck It List

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Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die
1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.