Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Jerry Sandusky's Tiny Tots Football Camps Now Accepting Applications
Nov 9, 2011, 09:09
STATE COLLEGE, Penna. - Penn State coaching legend Jerry Sandusky will offer a series of Jerry's Kids Tiny Tots football camps for disadvantaged youth ages six to nine next summer. The sessions will be held at Camp Cowabunga, an Indian-theme campground north of Altoona, Pennsylvania.
The Tiny Tots camps will be a departure for Coach Sandusky and his storied Second Mile foundation.
"In the past we set our sights on teen-age boys," said Coach Sandusky, 67. "Kids that age, however, can be slippery, especially if they're going through a rebellious stage. We need to get our hands on kids when they're younger in order to have the greatest impact on them."
The Jerry's Kids Tint Tots Football Camps will run for one week each, from registration late Sunday afternoon to graduation late Saturday afternoon, with an after party in Coach Sandusky's motel. There is no fee for kids who board at the camps. There is a $350 charge per session for kids who elect to sleep at home.
"We encourage kids to sleep over in order to derive the full benefit of the camping experience," said Coach Sandusky. "We don't want Jerry's Kids to be the kind who run and tell Mommy or Daddy when the least little thing happens."
Attendance at Coach Sandusky's camps is limited in order that each participant can receive special attention from coach, who urges parents to apply by December 15 and to be sure to enclose two pictures of their tiny tots, one of which should be in a bathing suit.
In addition to Coach Sandusky—one of the greatest defensive minds in the history of college football—additional camp counselors include Mike McQueary, former quarterback at Penn State and current recruiting coordinator for the Nittany Lions.
"I've seen Coach Sandusky interacting with young men," said Coach McQueary. "He's a hands-on guy who knows how to drive his message home. I'm looking forward to working with him because I wouldn't be a coach at Penn State if it wasn't for Coach Sandusky."
In addition to being a celebrated child-welfare advocate, Coach Sandusky is a best-selling author. His 2001 autobiography, Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story, has inspired many young men to walk a mile in his athletic supporter. Every one of Jerry's Kids will receive a copy of Touched, personally inscribed by Coach Sandusky.
In an introduction to the book, former Eagles head coach Dick Vermeil wrote of Coach Sandusky: "He could very well be the Will Rogers of the coaching profession."
Or at least its Mr. Rogers.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.
Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Strike a blow for freedom.
