Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Dwayne Wade Identified as Robbery Suspect in Miami Heat's Hoodie Photo
Mar 29, 2012, 09:45
PHILADELPHIA -- A Korean grocery store owner has identified Dwayne Wade as the person who robbed him at gun point in early February. Woo-jin Park, 57, said he recognized Mr. Wade, 30, in a picture of the Miami Heat basketball team that was published on the internet via Twitter last week.
In that photo members of the Heat posed in hoodies to show their outrage at the killing of Trayvon Martin, an unarmed hoodie-wearing black teenager who was gunned down following some kind of altercation with a white Hispanic man in Sanford, Florida.
"When I saw that lineup picture, I recognized the robber, so I called the police," said Mr. Park.
Police dispatcher Louis Richards, who took Mr. Park's call, attempted to explain that the Miami Heat photo was not a "perp shot. I tried to tell him it was just a picture of a basketball team, but he didn't understand."
"I know what I saw," said Mr. Park. "That man [Mr. Wade] came in and asked for a bag of Skittles, then he pulled out a gun and robbed me."
According to Officer Richards, Mr. Park is not the first merchant to identify a member of the Miami Heat as the man who robbed him.
"Ever since that picture came out, we've gotten tons of calls from store owners who claim they were robbed by a member of the Miami Heat."
Mr. Wade could not be reached for comment.
A spokesperson for the Miami Heat said the team did play in Philadelphia on Friday February 3, but Mr. Wade went out for dinner after the game with Lebron James.
"Besides," the spokesman added, "Mr. Wade doesn't even like Skittles."
In related news, the address for Mr. Park's store that was tweeted by Spike Lee last night is actually the address of the Philadelphia Parks and Recreation department.
Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.
Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die 1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Facebook
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
9. Hats
10. Going to Bed Early.