postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.” Margaret Thatcher
People who claim that meat should be used as a condiment ought to be reminded that vegetables work best as garnishes.
According to Consumer Reports, the Vizio M-Series Quantum 55-inch TV is rated "best" by rioters in Portlandia, who give it high fives for portability (only 35.6 lbs) as well as a generous $659 discount at all participating and non-participating stores
From hair plugs to butt plugs, the political "awakening" of J. Robinette Biden
The Ultimate White Privilege: Only white people can forgive other white people for their racism
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday

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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Postmodern Horoscopes
Presenting the astrological world's only postmodern horoscope . . . the one grand narrative you can believe in . . . guaranteed to deconstruct your future before it happens. Click, poke, tap, or finger here, Jacques.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Apologizing for Anything
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

The Jessica Simpson Divorce Quiz
Feb 22, 2006 - 11:34
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Caught in a private moment.
LOS ANGELES - Although Jessica Simpson purchased a $3-million house in Beverly Hills following her split with Nick Lachey, the singer-actress-shoe designer seems to prefer the comfort of the storied Chateau Marmont when she has a date.

According to several tabloid publications' paid informants, however, some of the Chateau Marmont's other guests wish Ms. Simpson would get a room elsewhere.

"A friend of mine was staying at the Chateau during the weekend of February 3," a source told the Star. "One night she saw Jessica and Jude Law entering the room next door. My friend recognized them because she had seen them around the hotel."

At 2 a.m., the source continued, "my friend called hotel management to ask for a different room. The banging on the wall and the cries of 'Oh you wicked nanny' made it impossible for her to get any sleep."

Ms. Simpson isn't the only one who's been busy. Her estranged husband, Mr. Lachey, has been bedded down with his lawyers devising schemes to maximize his profit from the coming divorce; and we here at Postcards from the Pug Bus have been working on the following Jessica Simpson Divorce quiz. It's a take-home, open-book, grade-it-yourself test designed for entertainment purposes only.

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Start today.
1. Before he married Jessica Simpson, Nick Lachey was in . . .
a) an automobile accident
b) a boy band
c) jail
d) arrears
e) cognito

2. Nick and Jessica separated on . . .
a) Bastille Day
b) Sadie Hawkins Day
c) December 13, 2005
d) November 23, 2005
e) either "c" or "d" depending on whose lawyer you ask

3. In a recently filed statement, Nick said he wanted his __________ back.
a) Vermont Teddy Bears
b) Michael Bolton CDs
c) pornography collection
d) jewelry
e) Gucci pajamas

4. On December 5, 2005, Jessica Simpson made $850,000 in a private . . .
a) card game
b) concert
c) telephone conversation
d) airplane
e) restroom

5. Jessica and Nick do not have . . .
a) a joint retirement plan
b) a brain between them
c) any discernable talent
d) adopted Third-World children
e) a prenup

6. Nick went to court seeking temporary visitation rights to . . .
a) the couple's hamsters
b) their Lamborghini
c) Jessica's breasts
d) his old tree fort
e) Ashlee Simpson

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We have your size in this lovely gold lame.
7. Pizza Hut is auctioning off a pair of Jessica's . . .
a) dress shields
b) boots
c) used boots
d) unused large-print recipe books
e) cutoffs

8. Jessica Simpson is rumored to have had guest-disturbing sex in a hotel with . . .
a) Adam Levine
b) Jude Law
c) "a" and "b"
d) her bodyguard
e) herself

9. Since separating from Nick, Jessica has been treated for . . .
a) diarrhea
b) gonorrhea
c) pizzeria
d) shingles
e) overexposure in the tabloids

10. On the Newlyweds Jessica Simpson thought Chicken of the Sea was . . .
a) really chicken
b) a cowardly tuna
c) the other white meat
d) cheaper at Trader Joe's
e) cruel to dolphins

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