Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
Michael Vick Severs Ties with PRCA and Skoal
Aug 2, 2007, 14:27
NEWPORT NEWS, Vir. – A lawyer for suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback, Michael Vick, announced today that Mr. Vick was severing his ties with the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association (PCRA) and with Skoal, the makers of smokeless tobacco.
“Michael Vick recognizes his responsibilities as a role model to his fans,” said Dutch Williamson. “Therefore, he is no longer lending his endorsement to products or activities that he considers unworthy of his good name.”
Representatives for both the PRCA and Skoal expressed surprise at Mr. Vick’s announcement.
“To the best of our knowledge Michael Vick is not under contract to us,” said Burt Dellahunt, information director for the PRCA.
“He’s African American, isn’t he?” continued Mr. Dellahunt. “Perhaps he’s got us confused with the BRCA, the Black Rodeo Cowboys Association.
Nathan “Nate” Nathanson, Skoal’s director of urban marketing, likewise denied any knowledge of a contractual agreement between his company and Mr. Vick.
“We’re flattered that Mr. Vick thinks he represents us,” said Mr. Nathanson, “but we haven’t subsidized dog fights in decades. Our focus is on the upscale and youth markets.”
Mr. Vick’s attorney told reporters to expect additional announcements during the coming days as Mr. Vick “re-evaluates his association with other companies whose products are antithetical with Michael’s core beliefs.”
Tonight on Larry King Live: Barack Obama challenges Hillary Clinton “to see who’s got more between their legs.”
Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
