Home   Ass Hat Awards   Blog   Celebrities   Fashion   Lifestyle   Music   News   Politics   Religion   Sports   Technology   Our Staff  
Looking for Something on This Site?
Ask Googlelyn
The World's First Transgender
Search Engine

Numbers Don't Lie
Blacks as % of University of Misouri Student Body . . . 7
Source: Mizzou Diversity

Jews as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.2
Source: Jewish Virtual Library

Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.3
Source: NHIS data in the Washington Post

Muslims as % of U.S. Population . . . 2.1
Source: Muslim Population

Persons with Celiac disease as % of U.S. population: 1
Source: Food Republic

Persons who follow a gluten-free diet, despite not having celiac, as a % of U.S. population: 3
Source: National Foundation for Celiac Awareness

Percent of these people who are deluding themselves: 100
Source: The Pug Bus

Official Carly Fiorina
C-Bomb Counter™
The Donald was right: Who could vote for that mug? Imagine seeing that cowpie with eyes on the front page of your newspaper in the morning. The only thing worse would be seeing that cowpie with eyes in your bed in the morning. She's a two-bagger, for sure. She's also a devout foe of the word cunt, though she gives every appearance of being one.Indeed,a source close to the Fiorina campaign revealed recently that if old grumblemug gets elected, she'll make the use of that word in any public space a felony. Thus we feel obliged to introduce the Official Carly Fiorina C-Bomb Counter, which reports the number of times the C-Bomb has been used any place in America since you landed on this page. (Figures do not include uses by Donald Trump, who calls women cunts all the time.)

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive. Visit The Grammar Prick

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1-  -2-

Free the Music
wipe out the riaa printed ona roll of toilet paperStrike a blow for freedom. Download music on the down low today. You can't beat the price. Get the skinny at Zeropaid.

Humor Feed Banner

Vanessa Hudgens Homemade Sex Video Surfaces on Internet
Sep 9, 2007 - 5:58
an image
LOS ANGELES - Vanessa Hudgens has more to apologize for than a few perky-breasted but otherwise virginal nude photos currently starring as the screen savers du jour of sticky-fingered Internet types, young and old, across the United States.

The photos, it seems, were only the tit of the iceberg. Bed-headed geeks and freaks with dodgy skin and prophylactics over their keyboards will be chuffed to learn that the risqué snapper shots of Ms. Hudgens, the perky-breasted, eighteen-year-old star of High School Musical, are actually stills from an autoerotic sex-video she made for Nickelodeon star Drake Bell two years ago.

According to THEM Weekly, Ms. Hudgens' sex video, coyly entitled Open Me First, was made "as a gag Christmas gift" and emailed to Mr. Bell, who denies ever seeing it.

"Drake never opened the video—first, last, or otherwise," said a representative. "He learned his lesson about opening email attachments, even from people he knows intimately."

Those who have opened Open Me First—forty-five seconds' worth of footage apparently filmed with a cell phone camera—were treated to a nude Ms. Hudgens sitting spread-eagled in front of a Christmas tree. She is wearing a Santa hat, Christmas gift tags about the size of silver dollars for pasties, and a red, mistletoe-decorated thong.

an image
While Zamfir's version of "You're All I Want for Christmas" plays in the background, Ms. Hudgens removes the pasties from her perky breasts and smiles alluringly into the camera.

Next she takes off the thong and waves it seductively. Then, removing the Santa hat and slipping her right hand into it, she whispers, "I want Santa to come up my chimney because I've been a good little girl this year."

In other news, the Recording Industry Association of America has mailed Debbie Foster 68,685 one-dollar checks to satisfy a judgment she won against the watchdog group.

If you liked this one, please tell a friend. Didn't like it? Tell a cop, your minister, the FCC, the NSA, or the HMFIC down at the American Family Association.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


Follow the Pug Bus on Twitter
or we'll follow your ass home.

image of clapped out mailbox in Bumfuck, USAEmail us. Got a question, a comment, a pithy observation, or do you just want to tell us to fuck off and die. Here's your big chance, Skippy.

Back by Unpopular Demand
Read any three articles, get the fourth one free!

The Fuck It List
image of a sons of anarchy emblem on a motorcycle jacket
Shit to Give Up Before You Die
♠ Religion
♠ Voting
♠ Seat Belts
♠ Paying for Music and Movies
♠ Sending Holiday Cards
♠ Funerals
♠ Pissing Indoors All the Time
♠ Paying Attention to Stop Signs
♠ Going to Bed Before Midnight
♠ Standing for the National
      Anthem At Sporting Events
♠ Not Parking in Handicapped
      Parking Spaces

There's a Saint for That
image of a saint, name unknownThere's a saint for that, whatever "that" might be. Just click where it hurts you to find out which board-certified saint to call. Breast Implants, burn marks from the grill,, hemorrhoids, and more.

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint, isn't that shocking now?Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the balls to do. We're not just blowing smoke. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Shortcuts to Good Karma
yin-yang symbolShit happens, but good karma is no accident. You can appear worthy even when you're being a dick if you learn to avoid the mistakes that others have made.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby

American Atheists—we've even got our own television station now; great source for material pertaining to the war against Christianity, Christmas, and Jesus H. Christ himself
GNAA—the "G" stands for "Gay," you're on your own with the rest
High Times—wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for?
Pirate Bay—indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
SHUN Magazine—The Journal of Contemporary Shame Culture, (Full Fucking Disclosure: I, Phil Maggitti, your editor in briefs at the Pug Bus, have recently begun contributing under an assumed name to this slap in the pubes to everything that's worth shaming about the American dystopia)
Soulseek—no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free
Spectrum Labs—need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid—before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
BTGuard—great VPN service, it's the one that we here at the Pug Bus use, don't go digital shoplifting on your computer without it