Britney Spears Is the Antichrist for Real
Jan 4, 2008, 16:41
"Could we make a stop at Starbucks?"
LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears warned us last year in words as plain as the three 6’s scrawled with a black magic marker on her shaven head: “I am the Antichrist.” As though to underscore her claim, Ms. Spears ran around stark raving naked in rehab, scrawling misspelled obscenities on the walls with her own feces.
Should we really be surprised, then, that Ms. Spears’ demons got the better of her again last night? Is it any wonder she had to be tasered, lashed to a gurney, and taken to Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles for observation?
According to Sergeant L. Everett Pepper of the Los Angeles Police Department, officers were called to Ms. Spears' house to referee a custodial dispute between Ms. Spears, 26, and her ex-husband Kevin Federline, 29, who has primary legal custody of their sons, two-year-old Sean Preston and one-year-old Jayden James.
Police responded with cars, ambulances, traffic helicopters, and an armor-plated fire truck. They found Ms. Spears naked in her hot tub, slapping the water with the palms of her hands in unison, accusing Mr. Federline of “boning that goddamn whore Paris Hilton.”
Because of Mr. Federline’s alleged misconduct with Ms. Hilton, Ms. Spears did not want to return their sons to Mr. Federline.
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“She was pretty torqued,” said Sergeant Pepper. “She was cursing and screaming and threatening to castrate Mr. Federline. When she leaped out of the tub and grabbed an umbrella from an umbrella stand outside the front hall powder room, we decided we couldn’t take any chances. We’re know the kind of damage she’s capable of doing to a motor vehicle.”
By law Ms. Spears can be held in hospital for psychological evaluation for seventy-two hours, a police spokesman said.
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