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Your Almost Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
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The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
Cover of the book Postcards from the Pug Bus.The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
1 2
Free the Music
screw the riaaStrike a blow for freedom.
Download music today.
You can't beat the price.
Get the skinny at Zeropaid.
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Writers Guidelines
May 4, 2004, 14:34
Postcards from the Pug Bus welcomes satirical writing on virtually any subject, as long as the writing approaches the subject from a fresh perspective. The closer an article adheres to the following guidelines, the greater the chance it has of being published.
  • The article is your own original work.
  • It has not been published elsewhere, except on your personal web site.
  • It does not seriously advocate violence, any illegal activity, racism, sexism, ageism, speciesism, or any other ism that a reasonably sane individual might find offensive.
  • Your sense of outrage does not overwhelm your sense of style.
  • You understand that there is a difference between satire and making fun of someone. Calling a person a name or saying that he did something stupid is an example of the latter; reporting something dumb or offensive that a person said or did, without obvious editorializing, is an example of the former.
  • You do not object to our correcting mistakes in spelling or errors in usage, nor do you object to our editing the article in order to make it more enjoyable to our readers.

If these rules did not put you off, send us your material. The best way to do that is by saving the text and image(s), if any, in separate files and attaching them to an e-mail message addressed to our submissions department. We will let you know in a day or two if we will be using your article. We will notify you again after the article has been published.

Articles remain the property of the writers who submit them. We will not publish them anywhere else without the writer's permission.

Did we forget to mention that remuneration for articles will be tendered in the currency of the satirical realm—"heartfelt thanks"—which, coupled with sufficient currency and a winning smile, is accepted at all fine establishments around the globe?

Amused? Disgusted? Royally pissed off? Click the Twitter link to share with a friend. Go ahead. It's free.

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© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.

 
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Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.