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Writers Strike Cripples Celebrity Satire, Sex Video Website
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The three-month-old Writer’s Guild of America (WGA) strike has flattened the tires of Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s leading celebrity satire website.
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Jan 28, 2008, 11:10
Mall Shooting Rampage Inspires Shopping Insurance
WILMINGTON, Del. – The Westroads Mall in Omaha, Nebraska, where a frustrated shopper gunned down nine people yesterday, has inspired First State merchants to create Shoppers Hourly Insurance Terms (SHIT).
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Dec 6, 2007, 11:03
Debra Lafave Florida Sex Teacher Busted for Girl Talk
TAMPA, Fla. – One-time Tampa middle school teacher Debra Lafave, currently serving house arrest for having tantric sex with a fourteen-year-old male student in a moving vehicle while listening to a Sting CD, has been arrested for violating the terms of her probation.
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Dec 5, 2007, 11:22
Preppy Killer Says Rough Sex with Gal Pal Led to Coke Bust
NEW YORK – Robert Chambers Jr., whom you may remember as the “Preppy Killer,” told police last night that the drugs found in the apartment he shares with his long-time companion, Shawn Kovell, belong to Ms. Kovell.
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Oct 23, 2007, 20:26
Michel Martin Is Today's Dumb-Ass Michael Vick Tool
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Today’s dumb-ass Michael Vick sympathizer is Michel Martin, hostess of Tell Me More, a one-hour daily NPR news talk show.
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Aug 25, 2007, 12:08
Uncle Ted Stevens' Igloo Searched by FBI
MOOSEBAUGH, Alaska – Uncle Ted Stevens’ palatial glass-and-steel igloo in the upscale ice fishing resort of Gillwood was raided earlier this week in a coordinated effort by the Justice Department, the IRS, and the FBI.
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Aug 2, 2007, 09:28
Pat Tillman Was Victim of Bad Karma Choice
PITTSBURGH, Penna. – Army Ranger Pat Tillman was the victim of a bad karma choice, said noted karma expert Sri Edward Boghaven yesterday. The author of Instant Karma: How to Appear Worthy Even When You're Being a Total Dick, Sri Boghaven made this statement in Pittsburgh, where he addressed his followers on the second stop of his nineteen-city arena tour.
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Aug 1, 2007, 09:15
Wal-Mart Pulls All Chinese Toothpaste in United States
BENTONVILLE, Ark. – Wal-Mart will no longer sell Chinese toothpaste in its United States outlets. The global retail giant announced yesterday that it was taking this step as a result of numerous complaints it had received from its American customers.
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Jul 7, 2007, 08:23
President Bush Taps Jessica Simpson for Educational Position
WASHINGTON, D.C. – When President Bush returns to Washington early this week, he is expected to name Jessica Simpson as the face of his newest educational initiative: No Child Left Unpaid.
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Jun 10, 2007, 11:17
Alert Clerk Foils Fort Dix Delivery from Allah
FORT Dix, N.J. - Another alert clerk has foiled an attempt to compromise United States interests at the Fort Dix army base in New Jersey. The clerk, whose name is being withheld at the request of military officials, works at a UPS store in Centerville, Delaware.
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May 9, 2007, 15:50
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