postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004


Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Let's defund the parking meter police
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
Che stronzi sono le persone
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)


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The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
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man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National One-Hit Wonders Day Quiz
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Today we sing the praises of the one-hit wonder (OHW)—pop music's most prodigious benefactor, the artist who keeps on giving even after he or she or they is no longer selling and is setting the GPS for Branson. Yet there is power in the relevance of the irrelevant, my fellow babies, and much to be admired in those who dared to be forgotten. In their honor we present this quiz. (Trigger warning: there are wrong answers, lots of them, just like in real life, watch your ass.)
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Sep 25, 2019 - 9:47


Roger Daltrey's Hair Forces Cancellation of Who Tour
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Complications surrounding singer Roger Daltrey’s hair have forced The Who to postpone a North American tour that had been scheduled to begin on September 24 in Portland, Oregon. According to a press release issued by the band’s Who’s Left productions, Mr. Daltrey’s hair, 71, contracted follicular meningitis and was ordered by a doctor to rest. As a result, “The Who Hits 50!” tour, which would have concluded in December 13 in Oakland, California, has been postponed in its entirety.
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Sep 20, 2015 - 10:09


Taylor Swift Placed Under Suicide Watch (Breaking News)
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Taylor Swift has been placed under a suicide watch by concerned members of her entourage, the Pug Bus learned today. The popular, six-foot-tall singer-songwriter has been sideswiped by increasingly severe and frequent panic attacks that have played havoc with her mental health and with her ability to write revenge songs.
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Jul 27, 2013 - 5:49


Paul McCartney Marries Another Plain-Looking Vegetarian
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LONDON - Paul McCartney wed American heiress Nancy Shevell in a brief civil ceremony in London yesterday. Ms. Shevell, 51, is the third in a series of remarkably plain, vegetarian women whom Mr. McCartney, 69, has married.
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Oct 10, 2011 - 8:03


An Open Letter to the Rolling Stones
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Dear Mick, Keith, Charlie, and the New Guy,
I have learned recently that you geezers might be touring next year. Please don't. In the name of all that's wrinkled, wizened, and way past its prime—namely you sorry git—take a minute to stop and think about what you're doing. You look like shite; you sound like shite. Indeed, I don't think Brian Jones looks any worse than you wankers do these days
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Sep 10, 2011 - 3:36


RIAA Sues Fetus as Accessory to Illegal Downloading
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NEW YORK -- The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has lowered the bar in its war against music piracy. In a surprising legal maneuver the RIAA slapped a four-month-old fetus with a Baby Doe warrant for being an accessory to its mother's illegal downloading of three Trout Fishing in America CDs and several other CDs of children's music.
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Mar 4, 2010 - 10:01


Musicians Admit to Only Pretending to Like Pete Seeger
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Dave Matthews, Bruce Springsteen, and a host of musicians who have appeared with folk singer Pete Seeger during the last few years have admitted they were "only pretending to like" the ninety-year-old Seeger and his music.
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Mar 3, 2010 - 12:38


Lil' Wayne Sentencing Postponed for Hemorrhoid Surgery
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NEW YORK - Once again an attorney for Lil' Wayne has requested a postponement of the rapscallion's jail sentencing for attempted gun possession. The sentencing had been scheduled originally for last month, but Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to a request for a postponement because Lil' Wayne needed eight root canals and complex dental-implant work
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Mar 2, 2010 - 1:11


Klaus Harmony Tribute Band Will Rock 2011 Super Bowl
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A German Klaus Harmony tribute band calling themselves the Wondercrotchens is scheduled to rock the 2011 Super Bowl, according to a National Football League spokesperson. Their appearance will mark the first ever performance by a tribute band at the famed sporting event.
More.
Feb 8, 2010 - 7:52


Van Morrison Files for Intellectual Bankruptcy
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DUBLIN - Irish singer and curmudgeon Van Morrison has filed for intellectual bankruptcy, according to a notice published on his official website&mdsah;The Gospel According to St. Van.
More.
Jan 11, 2010 - 10:00




© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.