Your Almost Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
 You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
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The Grammar Prick
 Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
 The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters: 1 2
Free the Music
 Strike a blow for freedom.
Download music today.
You can't beat the price.
Get the skinny at Zeropaid.
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Prince Harry, Chelsy Davy Breakup Quiz
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Royal watchers have been off their HP Sauce since British tabloids began reporting over the weekend that Prince Harry and his current amuse-bouche, Chelsy Davy, have come a cropper—or cropped a comer, as the case may be.
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Nov 12, 2007, 13:47
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz: Update
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Keith Richards might seem to be strange birthday bedfellows at first, but as our exclusive quiz reveals, they just might have more in common than the same birthday. Then again, they might not. Who gives a shit, anyway.
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Dec 19, 2006, 10:08
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Keith Richards might seem to be strange birthday bedfellows at first, but as our exclusive quiz reveals, they just might have more in common than the same birthday. Then again, they might not; or perhaps most people just don't give a shit. Whatever.
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Dec 18, 2006, 00:50
Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Baby Quiz Exclusive
SWAKOPMUND, Namibia - Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may have squashed the feeding frenzy that had threatened to overwhelm them, but their strong-arm tactics have deprived their fans of any meaningful Brangelina fix for days. If you are one of the millions of people jonesing for news of substance about the golden couple and their glowing offspring, we can't help you.
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May 31, 2006, 08:05
Jessica Simpson Fails Adoption Questionnaire
HOLLYWOOD - Jessica Simpson stumbled over the first hurdle in her quest to adopt a Mexican baby. The singer-actress was able to answer only one out of eleven questions correctly on a preliminary adoption assessment form. The average score is 6.5. The passing grade is negotiable.
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Apr 3, 2006, 08:18
George W. Bush Photo Quiz Redux
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A recently published photo of President George W. Bush has Washington insiders wagging their heads and shaking their tongues in agitated speculation. The photo, published for the first time here in the pages of Postcards from the Pug Bus, shows a facet of the presidential profile not often seen in public.
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Mar 5, 2006, 08:53
Bono Nobel Peace Prize Quiz
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Irish rock star Bono has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, one of the few significant awards that has eluded him. Time magazine's 2005 Person of the Year and Rolling Stone magazine's Most Annoying Celebrity of 2005, "solo male performance in a rock band" category, Mr. Bono could complete the hat trick by copping the Nobel.
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Feb 25, 2006, 10:04
The Jessica Simpson Divorce Quiz
LOS ANGELES - Although Jessica Simpson purchased a $3-million house in Beverly Hills following her split with Nick Lachey, the singer-actress-shoe designer seems to prefer the comfort of the storied Chateau Marmont when she has a date.
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Feb 22, 2006, 11:34
Britney Spears Driver Safety Quiz
HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears responded angrily to "all y'all out there who falsely accused me of being irresponsible for not wearing a seat belt when I was teaching little Sean Preston how to steer."
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Feb 8, 2006, 07:55
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Quiz
LOS ANGELES - The feeding frenzy for the latest dish about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is threatening to overwhelm the golden couple. Although it may be impossible to be too thin or too rich, the Brangelina phenomenon, which is now bigger than the sum of its parts, may prove it is possible to be too famous.
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Feb 3, 2006, 09:19
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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
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