postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004


Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Let's defund the parking meter police
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
Che stronzi sono le persone
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)


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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Top Ten Reasons Cats Aren't Mentioned in the Bible
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Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned anywhere in it. If you care to, you can find calves and camels, cankerworms and cattle, cocks and cattle, crickets and crocodiles, but no cats.
More.
Aug 28, 2020 - 8:00


What to Do When She Screams for God During Sex
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Dear Friedrich: My girlfriend of several weeks has a habit that could doom our relationship. Whenever we have sex, which is quite frequently and loudly, she begins screaming "Oh god, oh god, oh my god" right before she comes. The problem is, I'm an atheist, and I find this habit distracting. How do I tell her I'd like her to scream something else, preferably my name, instead?
More.
Aug 22, 2019 - 5:23


Discordian Convention Coming to West Chester, PA
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WEST CHESTER,PA–Once known as The Athens of the East, this leafy college borough is bidding fair to become San Francisco East. Step one was the recent passage of a legally questionable ban on plastic bags. Step two, which preceded step one, as logic often does in colleges and their surroundings, is the number of students for whom urinating in public is the norm, especially in the middle reaches of S. Walnut Street. The final step was a proclamation yesterday by Dianne Herrin, West Chester's mayor, declaring that West Chester will host the 2020 Discordian International Convention.
More.
Aug 16, 2019 - 7:06


God Throws Shade on Rainbow Bridge Myth
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HEAVEN - Pet owners took one in the shorts today when The Lord God Almighty issued a press release in which He questioned the existence of the Rainbow Bridge, a mythical place just this side of heaven where deceased pets "are made young and healthy again" while they wait for their owners to join them. The animals are happy and content, but they each miss someone special who had to be left behind.
More.
Jan 9, 2017 - 10:56


God Says He Told Ref to Throw Flag at “That Silly High School Kid”
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HEAVEN–The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy Restroom Key—announced today that He was responsible for the penalty assessed on a high school football player who pointed to the sky, and ostensibly at God, after scoring a touchdown in a game two weeks ago.
More.
Oct 28, 2015 - 11:56


What Did Pope Francis Know and When Did He Know It?
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Since finding out last week that Pope Francis, “the cool pope,” had met secretly with Kim Davis in Washington, D.C., on September 24, a meeting that was kept on the down low for six days, everybody from Catholic church officials to their gay brothers-in-law have been scrambling to explain why that meeting didn’t amount to a hill of rosary beads.
More.
Oct 5, 2015 - 7:33


When Francis Met Kim
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—His Supreme Excellency Pope Francis—in addition to meeting with the Harlem Globe Trotters, Vice-President “Meadowlark” Biden (who presented him with a photo of Mr. Biden’s late son, Beau), illegal immigrants, disabled illegal immigrants, and the AARP’s Seniors’ Transgender Alliance—also conspired to meet secretly with Kim Davis at the Vatican’s underground bunker in Washington, D.C.
More.
Oct 1, 2015 - 12:02


Christian Baker Doesn't Knead Michelle Duggar's Business
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Reeling from the recent child abuse scandal—and having resigned as executive director of the Family Research Council—Josh Duggar took his wife and their three children from Washington, D.C., back to the family homestead in Springdale, Arkansas.
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May 29, 2015 - 9:28


God "Sick and Tired of Being Everybody's Damn Witness"
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The Lord God Almighty has had it up to his Charlton Heston-like brow with people who say "as god is my witness" when they want to underscore a statement or a threat.
More.
Oct 28, 2013 - 2:01


Atheist Brotherhood to Begin Unbaptizing Dead People
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The Universal Brotherhood of the Confrontational Atheist (UBCA) will begin unbaptizing dead people next month, says the group's founder, the Reverend Philip Feral. Believed to be the first program of its kind in West Goshen Township, which was Money Magazine's eleventh-best small town in America in 2009, unbaptizing removes "the taint of baptism" from the deceased.
More.
Oct 20, 2013 - 12:01




© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.