Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate
. Visit The Grammar Prick
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
National One-Hit Wonders Day Quiz
Today we sing the praises of the one-hit wonder (OHW)—pop music's most prodigious benefactor, the artist who keeps on giving even after he or she or they is no longer selling and is setting the GPS for Branson. Yet there is power in the relevance of the irrelevant, my fellow babies, and much to be admired in those who dared to be forgotten. In their honor we present this quiz. (Trigger warning: there are wrong answers, lots of them, just like in real life, watch your ass.)
How Well Do You Know Schrödinger’s Cat?
For most of us Schrödinger’s cat is a meme without a meaning. Chances are we have seen a reference to this elusive feline somewhere in a book, article, movie, or television show; but chances are equal that we really don’t know fuck-all about this creature. Therefore, the Pug Bus has devised the following quiz about Schrödinger’s cat to commemorate his (Schrödinger’s) death on January 4, 1961 at the age of seventy-three. The correct answers to the questions depend on your point of view.
Lights Out Light Bulb Quiz for Dummies
Every so often one comes across a statement that makes the hairs on the tops of one's toes stand up. "It's time to start thinking about light bulbs the way we think about appliances" is one of those statements.
How Well Do You Know Justin Bieber's Johnson?
Last month Justin Bieber turned up at the MTV Video Music Awards with a snake in his right hand. During a pre-show interview with Selena Gomez, Mr. Bieber, seventeen, revealed that the snake's name is Johnson. He then asked several young ladies if they wanted to touch his Johnson.
Help Save the Post Office, Take This Quiz
The United States Postal Service (USPS) may go tits up this winter if Congress doesn't provide it with mail sacks full of cash, roughly $5.5 billion, give or take. That's the depth of the shit hole the USPS needs to drag its sorry ass out of by the end of this month, just about the time that letter carriers are covering their knobby knees with long pants.
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Keith Richards might seem to be strange birthday bedfellows at first, but as our exclusive quiz reveals, they could have more in common than the same birthday. Then again, they might not. Who cares, anyway?
Clay Aiken Birthday Quiz, Exclusive
Clay Aiken, who rode a second-place finish on American Idol and a don't-ask-don't-tell sexuality to fame, fortune, and speculation, is twenty-nine today. The artist formerly known as Clayton Holmes Grissom will spend the day counting his blessings with "a special friend or two."
Prince Harry, Chelsy Davy Breakup Quiz
Royal watchers have been off their HP Sauce since British tabloids began reporting over the weekend that Prince Harry and his current amuse-bouche, Chelsy Davy, have come a cropper—or cropped a comer, as the case may be.
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz: Update
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Keith Richards might seem to be strange birthday bedfellows at first, but as our exclusive quiz reveals, they just might have more in common than the same birthday. Then again, they might not. Who gives a shit, anyway.
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Keith Richards might seem to be strange birthday bedfellows at first, but as our exclusive quiz reveals, they just might have more in common than the same birthday. Then again, they might not; or perhaps most people just don't give a shit. Whatever.
Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt Baby Quiz Exclusive
SWAKOPMUND, Namibia - Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt may have squashed the feeding frenzy that had threatened to overwhelm them, but their strong-arm tactics have deprived their fans of any meaningful Brangelina fix for days. If you are one of the millions of people jonesing for news of substance about the golden couple and their glowing offspring, we can't help you.
Britney Spears, Courtney Love Top Stretch Marks Poll
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Britney Spears and Courtney Love finished in a virtual dead heat in the Postcards from the Pug Bus First Annual Stretch Marks Poll. After studying the skanky photo on the left, 1,592 voters were asked whether Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Courtney Love, or Mother Teresa had grown the stretch marks in question.
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass
has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story
from time to time.
Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do
know about Schrödinger’s cat
and other neat shit."
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards
is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-
You Can't Photoshop This
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.