postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.

        Trump Win Puts Neo-Nazi German Villages on Tourism Map
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  As though to acknowledge that fashion is indeed the universal language, Globus® and other purveyors of European package tours have added Wibbese, Jamal, and half a dozen other picturesque, rural German villages to their spring itineraries. The move, says Globus® marketing director Earl Witherspoon, is our way of saying that fashion trumps ideology in the tourist business.”
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        Guido Barilla Announces New Regina Brand Pasta
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  Guido Barilla, chairman of the Barilla Group, the world's leading pasta manufacturer, announced yesterday that his company plans to introduce a "boutique" pasta line known as Regina early next year.
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        Edward Snowden Reveals NSA Movie Piracy Techniques, Part 2
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  Previously on Postcards from the Pug Bus, Edward Snowden revealed that National Security Agency employees who were supposed to be monitoring movie piracy were actually pirating movies themselves, on and off the job.
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        Edward Snowden Leaks NSA Abuse of Movie Pirating Protocol
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  In perhaps his most controversial revelation yet, Edward Snowden has leaked details of the National Security Agency (NSA) misuse of the protocol for pirating movies. The latest Snowden leak reveals that NSA employees who are supposed to be monitoring movie piracy are actually pirating movies themselves. This information was published simultaneously in the Washington Post and England's Guardian.
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        NSA Instrumental in Busting Thai Gang Selling Fake Elephant IDs
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  The National Security Agency (NSA) is claiming to have played "a major role" in helping police in Thailand to break up a gang that had provided false identification papers for fourteen elephants, a spokesperson for the organization told the Associated Press.
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        Obama Unfriends Putin on Facebook, International Crisis Looms
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  The Pug Bus learned overnight that President Barack Obama has unfriended Russian president Vladimir Putin on Facebook in retaliation for Mr. Putin's offering temporary asylum to Edward Snowden. The news sent shock waves through the Facebook and international communities, triggering speculation of a return to Cold War status between the two nations.
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        Edward Snowden Is Seriously Becoming a Diva
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  Edward Snowden's diva-like demands are responsible for his remaining sequestered in the transit zone of Moscow's Sheremetyevo international airport. Mr. Snowden has been living in a Red Roof Inn executive suite there since arriving in Moscow from Hong Kong on July 23.
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        Pippa Middleton's Ass Not All It's Cracked Up to Be
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  In a recent study conducted by the National Centre for Social Research, nine out of ten Britons were unable to identify Pippa Middleton's ass in a mock police lineup. The 587 randomly selected individuals who took part in the study ranged in age from twenty-one to sixty-five.
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        Beloved Fashion Icon Muammar el-Qaddafi Slain
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  From Milan to Miami, from Moscow to Macao, Hermes scarves are flying at half mast in memory of trend-setting fashion icon Muammar el-Qaddafi. The beloved haute couture trailblazer was slain yesterday in his hometown of Surt. He was sixty-nine, but in his heart he was still the twenty-seven-year-old stud muffin who took over the reins of fashion in Libya in 1969.
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        Raffaele Sollecito Eager to Step Out of Amanda Knox's Shadow
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  No matter what happens when an Italian court reaches a verdict in the appeals trial of Raffaele Sollecito and Amanda Knox today, Mr. Sollecito says he is ready to be "my own man (un uomo con grandi testicoli)," not "a puppy on a leash," as he has been called by the Italian press.
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        Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Gone and Forgotten
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  Five years ago tomorrow Steve Irwin, better known as the crocodile hunter, died as he had lived: messing with a dangerous critter with whom he had no business messing. This time it was a bull stingray, who was minding his own business in waters near the Great Barrier Reef when the Billy Mays of conservationists came barging along.
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        Moammar Gadhafi Obsessed with Condoleeza Rice
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  The scene inside Moammar Gadhafi's man cave in his Bab al-Aziziya compound looked like the centerfold of Beggar's Banquet, only worse. Rebel soldiers, having discovered Mr. Gadhafi's collection of adult toys, were not hesitating to model them (the cock rings) or attack each other with them (the butt plugs).
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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