Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate
. Visit The Grammar Prick
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Satire Site Calls for Boycott of West Chester Restaurant
Postcards from the Pug Bus, West Chester's longest-running satire site, has called for an immediate boycott of the Market Street Grill, located in the borough, which has chosen to defy Governor Wolf's current ban on indoor dining in the commonwealth.
"We cannot allow restaurant owners to put profits above public safety during this pandemic," said Chip Hilton, food, music, and wellness editor of the Pug Bus.
Local Man Suspects That Some Patients at the Medical Marijuana Dispensary Are "Using" Weed Recreationally
Devin Maddox, a senior tax accountant, uses medical marijuana (MMJ) to help manage his Crohn's disease. When a doctor approved him for an MMJ license, Mr. Maddox signed a standard consent form agreeing not to use MMJ "for recreational purposes." After several visits to his local dispensary, however, he has begun to suspect that some "patients" are violating that part of their contract with the state.
West Chester University Student Wins Grammar Prick's Shitty Writing Award
In today's lesson, boys and girls, the Grammar Prick will attempt to teach you how not to write like an Arschloch. The best way to do that is by example. So here's an example of "writing" so incontrovertibly bad that it wins the first leg of the Grammar Prick's Shitty Writing Award. Before we begin with the dissection, however, we should thank The Quad, West Chester University's student newspaper, for coughing up this instructive hairball.
Discordian Convention Coming to West Chester, PA
WEST CHESTER,PAOnce known as The Athens of the East, this leafy college borough is bidding fair to become San Francisco East. Step one was the recent passage of a legally questionable ban on plastic bags. Step two, which preceded step one, as logic often does in colleges and their surroundings, is the number of students for whom urinating in public is the norm, especially in the middle reaches of S. Walnut Street. The final step was a proclamation yesterday by Dianne Herrin, West Chester's mayor, declaring that West Chester will host the 2020 Discordian International Convention.
Local Man Prefers Sex with Plants
WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Roger Stamen is not shy about declaring his preference in sexual partners. "Plants get me off," says Mr. Stamen, a self-employed landscape gardener. "They always have, ever since I was a kid. When other guys were masturbating to Penthouse or Beaver, I was hunched over the latest issue of Horticulture magazine."
Local Resident Thinks He's at the Top of His Game
Al Covington is the picture of confidence as he sits at a table outside the Iron Hill restaurant on a hot July afternoon. He glances occasionally at a passer-by between bites of his Jerry Garcia wood fired, artisanal pizza, and talks about his new attitude.
Pope Benedict Will Visit West Chester, Pennsylvania
WEST CHESTER, Penna. -- Pope Benedict XVI will visit West Chester, Pennsylvania, Wednesday evening, a member of the pope's entourage has confirmed.
Chelsea Clinton Nixes Questions about Trojan Horse
Chelsea Clinton brings her girl-in-the-bubble tour to West Chester University this afternoon, and students have been warned that anyone who asks a question about the Trojan Horse on the Postcards from the Pug Bus compound nearby will be removed from the gathering by force if necessary and may face disciplinary action.
Chelsea Clinton Denies Posing for Mysterious Sculpture
WEST CHESTER, PA—Former first child Chelsea Clinton denies she was the inspiration for a mysterious sculpture that appeared recently at the compound of Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania's leading satire website.
Local Man Arrested for Stealing His Own Identity
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Li Ming, a graduate assistant in computer science at West Chester University, was arrested and charged with identity theft yesterday after trying to obtain a driver's license under false pretenses.
Jackass: Number 2 Sparks Muslim Leader's Outrage
After viewing Jackass: Number Two, the chief cleric of the Mosque of the Sacred Jihad, called on Muslims in West Chester and around the world to bring down "the all-consuming wrath of Allah upon those who support this unspeakably perverted Western filth."
Jeremy Piven Is Local Bank Teller's Inspiration
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Jeremy Piven, who has played sidekicks and eccentrics in more than three dozen films during the last twenty years, is the inspiration of Richard Dean, 23, a teller at First National Bank of West Chester.
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass
has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story
from time to time.
Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do
know about Schrödinger’s cat
and other neat shit."
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards
is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-
You Can't Photoshop This
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.