Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
 Through a rare but infrequent case of cross-mutation, your zip code and DNA will be transformed, and you will be seized with an overwhelming urge to open fire on your coworkers. By wetting your finger and pressing it onto an electric socket, you can transfer the effects of that mutation into an urge to dress like Lady GaGa.
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Danica Patrick Wins at Daytona
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. - Danica Patrick, racing's most successful female driver, made history again yesterday by capturing another best-opposite-sex trophy, this time at the Daytona International Speedway. Ms. Patrick, whom many people know only as a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, finished sixth overall at the Lucas Oil Slick Mist 200 Daytona race.
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Feb 7, 2010, 11:38
Paris Hilton Rocks the Court in Soft New Look
LOS ANGELES – Paris Hilton was back in court yesterday, rocking a new look that promises to be the rage in Hollywood and all points trendy quicker than you can say “Rachel Zoe.”
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Jun 9, 2007, 09:48
Keith Richards Praises Hair Club for Men at Pirates Premiere
ANAHEIM, Calif. - Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards showed up last night for the world premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, but all he wanted to talk about was the Hair Club for Men.
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May 21, 2007, 12:11
Astronaut Lisa Nowak Boosts Depends Sales
HOUSTON - While charges of attempted kidnapping and attempting murder have just been brought against astronaut Lisa Nowak after her bizarre love-triangle attack of a co-worker’s girlfriend, there is a no reason to fear that this space vet is all wet.
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Feb 8, 2007, 13:31
Naomi Campbell Sentenced to Tour of Beauty
NEW YORK - After Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty this week to reckless assault in the third degree for injuring a former maid during an outburst of cell phone rage, it looked like bright orange jumpsuits and ankle bracelets where going to be all the rage come spring.
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Jan 19, 2007, 08:21
Charlton Heston Follows Indiana Jones and Rocky in Sequel
HOLLYWOOD - Look out Indiana Jones, better duck Rocky Balboa, time to Die Hard Bruce Willis. There's another Hollywood hero ready to break out of retirement and relive those glory days.
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Jan 5, 2007, 11:24
Donald Trump, Rosie O'Donnell Agree to Sit and Spin
NEW YORK - Just when there appeared to be no foreseeable let up in the Donald Trump-Rosie O’Donnell feuding frenzy, came a Christmas miracle shocker: the announcement that the terrible twosome would soon be staring in their own NBC sitcom.
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Dec 25, 2006, 07:57
Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn Blame Breakup on Name Calling
MALIBU - It's official. Despite months of speculation, a denial from Jennifer Aniston on Oprah, and a tabloid-suing Vince Vaughn, friends of The Break-Up duo insist that this twosome is irretrievably broke.
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Oct 24, 2006, 08:19
Katie Holmes Crazy Over Wedding Dress
LOS ANGELES - ttention Tomkat wedding watchers! Need new proof that Katie Holmes is more nutty over fiancé Tom Cruise than ever before? Celebratty Chatter has learned that the Batman Begins beauty has already picked out a dress that leaves no doubt Katie is just batty to be a bride and is looking for a chapel with a bell view.
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Oct 23, 2006, 06:07
Mark Foley Biopic Doesn't Make Hilary Swank Horny
NEW YORK - November sweeps and midterm elections are fast approaching. Quicker than you can send your favorite page muffin a "how’s it going, Stud?" instant message, the Lifetime Original Movie channel has rushed to cash in on the Mark Foley sex scandal.
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Oct 20, 2006, 05:22
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