postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.



Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.



There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.


     
image of iconic screaming person
     
two lions having it off
     
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
     
American Freedm Party
     
burma shave sign with jingle
       
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
           
image of worldwide web on computer screen
   
image of bicyclist
 
image of handicapped parking sticker
     
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
     
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

           
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"


Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


        Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes
                      
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  The Killer Kwanzaa app, offered free through the Black Lives Matter (BLM) website, is suspected of forcing its way onto the tablets, mobile phones, and computers of selected persons who visit the BLM site—whether they want the app or not.
Continue ...

        U.S. Satire Site Beaks Dark Web Death Threat Story
                      
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  Kirill Morozov is a twenty-year-old from Belarus with a bad haircut, incriminating facial tattoos, and hell hounds on his trail. Several months ago Mr. Morozov allegedly stole most of the bitcoin from Nightmare Market, the Dark Web (DW) drug-slinging site where he was employed. The amount has never been specified, but given the scope of similar DW exit scams and of police drug-site take downs, it was probably colossal. Nightmare Market had total listings of 47.4k as of June 2019, per DarknetStats.
Continue ...

        Propane-Driven Vape Pens Blamed for Three Deaths in Amish Country
                      
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  News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youth—Jacob Stolzfus, 18, Lukas Stolzfus, 19, and Cyrus Martin, 21—has exploded like after-market vape pens in this quaintly named Amish community. The youth, who were all employed in the kitchen at Miller's Family Style Smorgasbord, died after the vape pens they had jury rigged to allow them to smoke marijuana exploded without warning.
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        Apple iPhone 11 Contains Fecal Finder™ App
                      
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  The forty-days-and-forty-nights rollout of the iPhone 11 is nearing the end of the tunnel, and Apple, it seems, has saved one of the most revolutionary features of its gear new phone for last: the Fecal Finder™ app, which can detect fecal material as small as one part per one hundred millionth on any iPhone 11.
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        Updates for Old White Man Apps Due from Apple, Google
                      
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  Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking contest to see who can get to market first with a significant upgrade for the Old White Man (OWM) app, which was originally patterned after Grindr, a popular app that helps gay men to locate other gay men who are close enough to shake a dick at—or at least within a fifteen-mile radius
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        Hello Barbie Hears All and Tells All
                      
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  Something called the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC) wants you to know that Hello Barbie™ is the most sordid and contemptible toy ever sold this year. According to CCFC founder, Susan Linn, Hello Barbie™ is “creepy and creates a host of dangers for children and families.”
Continue ...

        Apple Vies with Google to Market Old White Man App
                      
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  Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking battle to see who can get to market first with an Old White Man (OWM) app. According to a Silicon Valley source, the app will be similar to Grindr, a popular app that helps gay men to locate other gay men who are close enough to shake a dick at—or at least within a fifteen-mile radius.
Continue ...

        Windows 10 Officially Labeled Malware by NCSA
                      
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  The National Computer Security Association (NCSA) has announced that Windows 10, the aggressively marketed new operating system from Microsoft, now qualifies as malware. The NCSA, headquartered in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, made the announcement after receiving “countless troubling reports” of Microsoft’s having “gone rogue” in promoting and distributing Windows 10.
Continue ...

        Apple To Reveal Shocker at Annual Event
                      
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  As the tech world holds its breath waiting for Apple’s Christmas-in-September party today, rumors are swirling that the Cupertino giant has a major surprise up its sleeve—or up its ass, to be more precise.
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        New iPad 5 Will Introduce Fading Keypad Letters
                      
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  The big whisper from the Apple campus here in Cupertino is that Apple's new iPad 5 and iPad Mimi 2 will introduce fading keypad letters. This innovation, one of several iPad redesign elements in the offing, has the potential to be the breakout star of Apple's fall launch event scheduled for October 22.
Continue ...

        Rosetta Stone Releases Pig Latin App for iPhone 5s
                      
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  The buzz around Apple's new iPhone 5s just got louder. Rosetta Stone®, the world's leading, computer-based, language-instruction company, announced the release of its new Pig Latin App in time for the iPhone launch on Friday.
Continue ...

        Norton Internet Security Now Refuses to Let Customers Uninstall
                      
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  Norton Internet Security has quietly rolled out its you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but-you-can-never-leave uninstall policy. We learned about this new "safeguard" when we attempted to update our Java software and became the unsuspecting recipient of a free fifteen-day trial version of . . .
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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