postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004


Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Let's defund the parking meter police
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
Che stronzi sono le persone
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)


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The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Is Obesity Weighing Down the Soul?
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The results of a study published in the November issue of Applied Psychological Measurement suggest that the obesity epidemic popping seams and buttons all over the United States is having a quantifiable impact on the human soul.
More.
Sep 20, 2020 - 4:55


U.S. Satire Site Beaks Dark Web Death Threat Story
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Kirill Morozov is a twenty-year-old from Belarus with a bad haircut, incriminating facial tattoos, and hell hounds on his trail. Several months ago Mr. Morozov allegedly stole most of the bitcoin from Nightmare Market, the Dark Web (DW) drug-slinging site where he was employed. The amount has never been specified, but given the scope of similar DW exit scams and of police drug-site take downs, it was probably colossal. Nightmare Market had total listings of 47.4k as of June 2019, per DarknetStats.
More.
Dec 14, 2019 - 7:59


Propane-Driven Vape Pens Blamed for Three Deaths in Amish Country
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News of the deaths of three unrelated Amish youth—Jacob Stolzfus, 18, Lukas Stolzfus, 19, and Cyrus Martin, 21—has exploded like after-market vape pens in this quaintly named Amish community. The youth, who were all employed in the kitchen at Miller's Family Style Smorgasbord, died after the vape pens they had jury rigged to allow them to smoke marijuana exploded without warning.
More.
Sep 15, 2019 - 6:05


Apple iPhone 11 Contains Fecal Finder™ App
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The forty-days-and-forty-nights rollout of the iPhone 11 is nearing the end of the tunnel, and Apple, it seems, has saved one of the most revolutionary features of its gear new phone for last: the Fecal Finder™ app, which can detect fecal material as small as one part per one hundred millionth on any iPhone 11.
More.
Sep 12, 2019 - 6:06


Updates for Old White Man Apps Due from Apple, Google
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CUPERTINO, CA—Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking contest to see who can get to market first with a significant upgrade for the Old White Man (OWM) app, which was originally patterned after Grindr, a popular app that helps gay men to locate other gay men who are close enough to shake a dick at—or at least within a fifteen-mile radius
More.
Dec 19, 2016 - 2:27


Hello Barbie Hears All and Tells All
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Something called the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC) wants you to know that Hello Barbie™ is the most sordid and contemptible toy ever sold this year. According to CCFC founder, Susan Linn, Hello Barbie™ is “creepy and creates a host of dangers for children and families.”
More.
Dec 22, 2015 - 11:24


Apple Vies with Google to Market Old White Man App
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Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking battle to see who can get to market first with an Old White Man (OWM) app. According to a Silicon Valley source, the app will be similar to Grindr, a popular app that helps gay men to locate other gay men who are close enough to shake a dick at—or at least within a fifteen-mile radius.
More.
Nov 30, 2015 - 12:05


Windows 10 Officially Labeled Malware by NCSA
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CARLISLE, Pa.—The National Computer Security Association (NCSA) has announced that Windows 10, the aggressively marketed new operating system from Microsoft, now qualifies as malware. The NCSA, headquartered in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, made the announcement after receiving “countless troubling reports” of Microsoft’s having “gone rogue” in promoting and distributing Windows 10.
More.
Oct 19, 2015 - 4:50


Apple To Reveal Shocker at Annual Event
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As the tech world holds its breath waiting for Apple’s Christmas-in-September party today, rumors are swirling that the Cupertino giant has a major surprise up its sleeve—or up its ass, to be more precise.
More.
Sep 9, 2015 - 12:34


New iPad 5 Will Introduce Fading Keypad Letters
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The big whisper from the Apple campus here in Cupertino is that Apple's new iPad 5 and iPad Mimi 2 will introduce fading keypad letters. This innovation, one of several iPad redesign elements in the offing, has the potential to be the breakout star of Apple's fall launch event scheduled for October 22.
More.
Oct 11, 2013 - 12:10




© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.