The Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
 Now is the time to spread your wings, to wax extravagant, to wax that excess body hair, to use the high-price spread and the extra-wide spreader. Don't settle for mushrooms when truffles are available. Be bold, defy convention, defy the odds. Do not, however, attempt to defy gravity. She's not in a pleasant mood this time of year, and she's cranky in anticipation of the demands of increased holiday travel. If you keep it low and slow, you'll rise to new heights.
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Web Founder, Tim Berners-Lee, Finally Admits He Misspelled Worldwide
GENEVA – Tim Berners-Lee, the father of the world wide web, finally has admitted that he misspelling “worldwide” when he created the web twenty years ago.
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Mar 15, 2009, 08:28
Word Search Puzzles Effective in Delaying Alzheimer’s
NEW YORK - Recent studies indicate that patients who regularly complete word searches are 64 percent less likely to develop early Alzheimer symptoms. And apparently the harder the word search the better, as those who completed puzzles with lots of backward diagonal words fared even better.
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Mar 10, 2009, 15:57
College Student Arrested for Stealing His Own Identity
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Li Ming, a graduate assistant in computer science at West Chester University, was arrested and charged with identity theft yesterday after trying to obtain a driver’s license under false pretenses.
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Mar 8, 2009, 09:03
Microsoft Blames Hackers for Severance Pay Blunder
REDMOND, Wash. – A spokesperson for Microsoft blamed hackers for the company’s severance pay blunders, which resulted in some laid-off workers receiving too much severance pay while others received too little.
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Feb 23, 2009, 10:29
Miami Scientists Discover Right-Breast Bias
MIAMI - A scientific study reported in the April issue of Big Uns magazine reveals that men demonstrate a clear bias for the right breast when “staring at a woman’s rack.”
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Feb 13, 2009, 14:47
Mobile Phone Virus Threatens United States
SAN FRANCISCO - Cabir, the first in-the-wild mobile phone virus discovered in the United States, is set to wreak havoc on the lives of teen-agers, SUV drivers, and text-messaging office workers across the land.
More.
Mar 20, 2008, 11:11
Hackers Who Trashed RIAA Website Get Karma Windfall
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The hackers who roughed up the RIAA’s website last weekend—removing virtually all its self-serving, dime-on-your-neighbor content—will enjoy a significant karmic windfall, said Sri Edward Boghaven, author of Instant Karma: How to Appear Worthy Even When You're Being a Total Dick.
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Jan 23, 2008, 10:14
Brad Pitt Unveils Pitt Stops, Automated Sperm Deposit Units
NEW ORLEANS –Brad Pitt announced that he will cut the ribbon today to celebrate the opening of the first in the eagerly awaited series of Pitt Stops®, automated sperm deposit units that, he claims, will hasten the rebuilding of New Orleans.
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Dec 27, 2007, 11:55
Angelina Jolie Computer Virus Poised to Strike
REDMOND, Wash. – The Angelina Jolie virus, a new and potentially smothering computer virus, is set to strike computers around the world on Friday. Popularly known as the Black Mother Widow (BMW) virus, this dangerous scourge is thought to be the work of an Amsterdam-
based group of hackers that calls itself Één meer Toke.
More.
Dec 4, 2007, 12:35
Scientists Clone Monkey from Courtney Love Cells
PORTLAND, Ore. – Researchers at Oregon Health and Science University have manipulated the DNA of skin cells obtained from Courtney Love to create monkey embryos from which stem cells were extracted three days later.
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Nov 15, 2007, 10:48
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