postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Music   U.S. News   World   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Us  

The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.

        A Barrel of Laughs at the Gastroenterology Office: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  When was the last time you had a good laugh in the gastroenterology office? A really good laugh, not some tight-ass snortle, but a full-on, stuff-coming-out-your-nose production? I didn't think so. There’s more laughter at funerals than at the gastro’s. Of course people who attend funerals usually don’t spend the night before shoving M80s up their asses and doing Drano shots.
Continue ...

        What Would Nixon Do? You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  We were watching the Villanova-Temple game last night, half paying attention to an interview with a former Temple player, half poking around on our tablets, half sucking on a phatty, when what to our wandering eyes should appear but the accompanying image.
Continue ...

        Harris County, Georgia: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  In case you can't make out the fine print, it says, "WARNING: Harris County is politically incorrect. We say: Merry Christmas, God Bless America and In God We Trust. We salute our troops and our flag. If this offends you … LEAVE!"
Continue ...

        Colleges Offer Halloween Costume Counseling: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  WEST GOSHEN, Pa.–Not content with declaring war on date rape, Columbus Day, free speech, men who urinate standing up, and other impediments to the establishment of the nanny state/matriarchal society, colleges have taken dead aim on Halloween, a day fraught with the perils of political incorrectness.
Continue ...

        Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  WEST CHESTER, Pa.—In a small college town where pumpkin-spice everything—from Altoids to ziti—is now in full flavor, this sign got the attention of the roving Pug Bus reporter.
Continue ...

        All-White Diversity Philly Magazine Cover: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  PHILADELPHIA—What do you get when a magazine runs a cover story about diversity in Philadelphia's public schools and the photo of cherubic elementary school kids on the cover includes nary a brown, black, beige, tan, yellow, red, brindled, or burnt umber face—just seven cheerful white kids sitting on a low-slung brick wall, their iPhones and credit cards well intact? This despite the fact that the school they attend is 60 percent non-white?
Continue ...

        Pope Gets His Ass Grabbed: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  The pope got his ass kissed a ton during his Scold America tour, but here a man in a nondescript dark suit (is there any other kind of dark suit?) shows The Tedious One a different kind of love. Is there a three-second rule for touching a lugubrious gleut? Do old dude's in white dresses have wet dreams about being touched on the butt? How many popes can sit in the head of a pin?
Continue ...

        Black Lives Matter: You Can't Photoshop This
an image
  The accompanying image, like all images in our new series, You Can't Photoshop This, was not altered in any way. OK, so we did crop it a bit, but otherwise it is presented in all its raging glory as testimony to fact that some shit just cannot be Photoshoped.
Continue ...


© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo