Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate
. Visit The Grammar Prick
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
A Barrel of Laughs at the Gastroenterology Office: You Can't Photoshop This
When was the last time you had a good laugh in the gastroenterology office? A really good laugh, not some tight-ass snortle, but a full-on, stuff-coming-out-your-nose production? I didn't think so. There’s more laughter at funerals than at the gastro’s. Of course people who attend funerals usually don’t spend the night before shoving M80s up their asses and doing Drano shots.
What Would Nixon Do? You Can't Photoshop This
We were watching the Villanova-Temple game last night, half paying attention to an interview with a former Temple player, half poking around on our tablets, half sucking on a phatty, when what to our wandering eyes should appear but the accompanying image.
Harris County, Georgia: You Can't Photoshop This
In case you can't make out the fine print, it says, "WARNING: Harris County is politically incorrect. We say: Merry Christmas, God Bless America and In God We Trust. We salute our troops and our flag. If this offends you … LEAVE!"
Colleges Offer Halloween Costume Counseling: You Can't Photoshop This
WEST GOSHEN, Pa.–Not content with declaring war on date rape, Columbus Day, free speech, men who urinate standing up, and other impediments to the establishment of the nanny state/matriarchal society, colleges have taken dead aim on Halloween, a day fraught with the perils of political incorrectness.
Pumpkin Spice Motor Oil: You Can't Photoshop This
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—In a small college town where pumpkin-spice everything—from Altoids to ziti—is now in full flavor, this sign got the attention of the roving Pug Bus reporter.
All-White Diversity Philly Magazine Cover: You Can't Photoshop This
PHILADELPHIA—What do you get when a magazine runs a cover story about diversity in Philadelphia's public schools and the photo of cherubic elementary school kids on the cover includes nary a brown, black, beige, tan, yellow, red, brindled, or burnt umber face—just seven cheerful white kids sitting on a low-slung brick wall, their iPhones and credit cards well intact? This despite the fact that the school they attend is 60 percent non-white?
Pope Gets His Ass Grabbed: You Can't Photoshop This
The pope got his ass kissed a ton during his Scold America tour, but here a man in a nondescript dark suit (is there any other kind of dark suit?) shows The Tedious One a different kind of love. Is there a three-second rule for touching a lugubrious gleut? Do old dude's in white dresses have wet dreams about being touched on the butt? How many popes can sit in the head of a pin?
Black Lives Matter: You Can't Photoshop This
The accompanying image, like all images in our new series, You Can't Photoshop This, was not altered in any way. OK, so we did crop it a bit, but otherwise it is presented in all its raging glory as testimony to fact that some shit just cannot be Photoshoped.
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass
has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story
from time to time.
Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do
know about Schrödinger’s cat
and other neat shit."
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards
is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-
You Can't Photoshop This
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.