postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Let's defund the parking meter police
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
Che stronzi sono le persone
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Taylor Swift Closing Anal Bleaching Salon
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NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift announced via her website this morning that she is closing her anal bleaching salon, Pucker Up. Ms. Swift opened the salon nine years ago when she realized that many of her light-skinned young fans shared her "most deeply personal problem: darker pigmentation of the skin immediately around the anus.
Aug 28, 2019 - 2:29

Bill Maher, Ann Coulter Sex Video Leaked on Web
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WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Political commentator and steamy, right-wing sex goddess Ann Coulter has never been loath to use her sexuality or her febrile tongue to sell books.
Apr 28, 2019 - 8:40

Amy Schumer to Play Barbie in Lane Bryant Production
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NEW YORK—Plus-size former comedienne turned SFT (stupid fucking twat), Amy Schumer is reportedly in talks with Lane Bryant to play Barbie in the first-ever, live-adaptation of the life and times of Mattel’s beloved doll. In this multi-million-dollar, diversity-themed epic, Miss Schumer will play a zaftig Barbie of indeterminate racial background (and flexible gender) who is banished from "BarbieLand" for "not being perfect enough." Is this beginning to sound like science fiction or what? Miss Schumer hasn’t seen “not being perfect enough” since the first time she noticed that her toes were fatter than the other girls’.
Dec 3, 2016 - 2:25

Nicole Kidman Attacks Paparazzo in Sidewalk Rage
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Nicole Kidman viciously attacked a paparazzo nearly half her height in New York City yesterday afternoon. The incident, which New York police have called an incident of sidewalk rage, occurred in front of the Carlyle Hotel.
Sep 13, 2013 - 10:45

Ashton Kutcher Looking for Older Woman
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HOLLYWOOD - The young clam that Ashton Kutcher allegedly shucked on his sixth wedding anniversary last weekend was just a beard, a decoy meant to throw inquiring minds off the scent of the woman he really craves: a woman of a certain age. In Mr. Kutcher's case, that age appears to be north of sixty.
Oct 1, 2011 - 8:53

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Mounting Remake of Don Quixote
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HOLLYWOOD - In conjunction with what would have been Miguel de Cervantes' 464th birthday, Tom Cruise has scheduled a press conference for this afternoon. Sources close to Mr. Cruise claim he will announce that work will begin soon on a major project—turning Miguel de Cervantes' Don Quixote into an action movie.
Sep 29, 2011 - 3:36

How Well Do You Know Justin Bieber's Johnson?
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HOLLYWOOD - Last month Justin Bieber turned up at the MTV Video Music Awards with a snake in his right hand. During a pre-show interview with Selena Gomez, Mr. Bieber, seventeen, revealed that the snake's name is Johnson. He then asked several young ladies if they wanted to touch his Johnson.
Sep 26, 2011 - 9:04

Scarlett Johansson's Ass to Star in American Express Ad
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NEW YORK - Scarlett Johansson's ass and American Express: the perfect fit. Ms. Johansson never leaves home without them.
Sep 17, 2011 - 12:03

Gwyneth Paltrow Talks Breast Correction Surgery at U.N.
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NEW YORK - Gwyneth Paltrow is scheduled to take her campaign for breast-correction surgery to the United Nations next week. There the maven of GOOP will address the U.N.'s Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women. She is expected to announce her plans to raise money to provide free corrective surgery for women in Third World countries who have suffered "the heartbreaking physical effects" of breast-feeding their children.
Aug 24, 2011 - 12:38

Tom Cruise Fingered for Turning the Other Cheek
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DETROIT - After weeks of speculation regarding the cause for Katie Holmes' sudden departure from her marriage to Tom Cruise, details have recently surfaced that shed light on this mystery.
Jul 15, 2011 - 8:37

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.