Your Daily Horoscope
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 You will have a strange dream in which you see a giant field of sunflowers in the distance. As you race toward the field in slow motion, you begin to hear a sound coming from the sunflowers. When you reach the field, you discover that the sunflowers have the faces of The Village People, and they're singing "YMCA."
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Jennifer Aniston's Retarded Names for Her New Fragrance
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Jennifer Aniston will launch her first branded perfume any second now. The super scent has been nearly two years in the making. Countless beavers, deer, and sperm whales have been sacrificed for the cause. Acres of parsely, sage, rosemary, and thyme have been harvested, crushed, and boiled in a huge cauldron. The only ingredient missing is a name.
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Mar 7, 2010, 12:39
Vanessa Hudgens Launches Sex Video Hotline
HOLLYWOOD – Now that High School Musical 3 is scheduled to begin filming next Valentine's Day, Vanessa Hudgens, 18, has decided to put paid once and for all to the continuous rumors about the dozens of sex videos she is alleged to have made since her sixteenth birthday.
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Nov 22, 2007, 13:49
Boy George Accused of Foolish Imprisonment
LONDON – Pop swinger Boy George was charged with foolish imprisonment, careless whispers, and reckless misapplication of foodstuffs today. The legal action was brought as a result of a complaint lodged against Mr. George by a midget from The Long and Short of It, a male escort service popular with London hipsters and members of the royal family.
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Nov 13, 2007, 13:25
Ellen DeGeneres Fears Iggy Will Go to Michael Vick
LOS ANGELES – A tearful Ellen DeGeneres told E! News' Ryan Seacrest yesterday that she fears Iggy, the puppy she adopted and then gave away to her hairdresser two weeks later, would be sent to ex-football star Michael Vick “just to punish me.”
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Oct 20, 2007, 14:16
George Clooney Health Records Reveal Hemorrhoids, Incontinence
NORTH BERGEN, N.J. – George Clooney’s health records contain some personally embarrassing information, said a hospital health worker who was suspended after taking a secret peek at Mr. Clooney’s private annals.
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Oct 11, 2007, 14:29
Victoria Beckham Induces Quarterly Bowel Movement
HOLLYWOOD – Victoria Beckham, the artist formerly known as Posh Spice, finally has produced a bowel movement for the third quarter of 2007, a source close to the seventy-two-pound fashion icon has revealed.
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Sep 24, 2007, 08:19
Jennifer Aniston’s New Body Confident with Jennifer Aniston
LOS ANGELES – Jennifer Aniston’s new body is telling friends that it’s confident Ms. Aniston can compete with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for serious movie roles and magazine covers.
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Sep 23, 2007, 09:44
Vanessa Hudgens Homemade Sex Video Surfaces on Internet
LOS ANGELES – Vanessa Hudgens has more to apologize for than a few perky-breasted but otherwise virginal nude photos currently starring as the screen savers du jour of sticky-fingered Internet types, young and old, across the United States.
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Sep 9, 2007, 17:58
Vanessa Hudgens Homemade Sex Video Surfaces on Internet
LOS ANGELES – Vanessa Hudgens has more to apologize for than a few perky-breasted but otherwise virginal nude photos currently starring as the screen savers du jour of sticky-fingered Internet types, young and old, across the United States.
More.
Sep 9, 2007, 09:04
Paris Hilton Snags Larry King Interview for $1.5 Million
LOS ANGELES – Larry King was the surprise winner of the bidding war for the right to conduct Paris Hilton’s initial post-jail interview. The veteran talk show host and natural-supplements advocate will bank $1.5 million in return for devoting his entire show to the “new” Paris Hilton tonight.
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Jun 27, 2007, 10:21
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