Your Almost Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
 You suffer from automonosis—the tendency to become bored with your own company. If you need to get away from yourself, here's a tip: you don't have to die in order to be reincarnated. People who don't like themselves often find happiness when they become somebody else. Companies that advertise in the backs of magazines are ready to assist in this transformation. If there are compelling personal reasons for not changing your identity, perhaps a trip to a spa for a simple makeover will do the trick.
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The Grammar Prick
 Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
 The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters: 1 2
Free the Music
 Strike a blow for freedom.
Download music today.
You can't beat the price.
Get the skinny at Zeropaid.
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Asshats of the Week to Everyone Who Supports Joe Paterno
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - The Amalgamated Asshat Association will have to step up production this week in order to make enough asshats for all the Joe Paterno enablers who have earned one.
More.
Nov 13, 2011, 11:26
Representative Lamar Smith Is the Ass Hat of the Week
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Lamar Smith, chairman of the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee, is the latest winner of the Postcards from the Pug Bug Ass Hat of the Week Award. Mr. Smith (R-Texas) earned this highly influential prize by sponsoring a bill that encapsulates all that is cynical, imperialistic, and reprehensible about the attitudes of too many residents of these self-important United States.
More.
Oct 8, 2011, 11:16
Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts, Hooker-Kid Mom Is Ass Hat of the Week
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. - What sort of dipshit thinks it's "hysterically funny" to dress her three-year-old daughter as a hooker and shove her onstage before a nationwide television audience on something called Toddlers & Tiaras? How fucked in the head, how worthless in your own mind do you have to be to get off on using a little kid like that? You're almost giving pedophilia a good name. We bet there was nary a dry keyboard among the watch-and-wank set that night.
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Sep 9, 2011, 12:52
Hillary's Gal Pal Elton Is Ass Hat of the Week
WEST CHESTER, Penna. -- Hillary Clinton's gal pal Elton John is the latest recipient of the Postcards from the Pug Bus Ass Hat of the Week award.
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Apr 11, 2008, 06:26
Michael Vick Homies Win Ass Hat of the Week Award
NEW YORK - While Michael Vick sits in jail trying to master the intricacies of checkers and the ins and outs of prison dating etiquette, he will surely take comfort in knowing that five of his most loyal homies have won the Ass Hat of the Week Award.
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Dec 18, 2007, 11:32
Ellen DeGeneres Wins Ass Hat Award for Dog Speech
LOS ANGELES - Ellen DeGeneres is the newest winner of the Postcards from the Pug Bus Ass Hat award. Ms. DeGeneres, 49, copped the prestigious award for using the bully pulpit of her television chat show to put a self-serving spin on her disregard of an agreement she had signed with a pet rescue agency.
More.
Oct 17, 2007, 12:40
Steve Irwin, Brad Pitt, George Bush Get First Ass Hat Awards
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Steve Irwin, famously known as the crocodile hunter; Brad Pitt, better known as Angelina Jolie's bitch; and George W. Bush, often known as "numbnuts," are the winners of the first Postcards from the Pug Bus Ass Hat awards. Ordinarily there will be only one asshat award per customer, but this time we were spoilt for choice.
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Sep 4, 2007, 07:29
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© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.
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 Follow the Pug Bus
or it will follow you home.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno did not die of a broken heart, as many of his delusional followers are claiming. He died of a guilty conscience. Anybody who says otherwise is a toadying douchebag.
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