postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.

        Whoopi Goldberg Is an Ass Hat for Sure
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  A gay, British, former friend of mine who was active in the animal rights movement ... and, some whispered, active in the animal rights "underground" too... hated Whoopi Goldberg. Absolutely hated, despised, shat-upon-and-spat-upon hatred. Hated her so much that he stooped to hurling an ethnic slur at her. Yep. He called her "white trash."
Continue ...

        Huffington Post Scribbler Sets New Highs for Virtue Signaling
Huffington Post scribbler Cole Delbyck has got himself an ass hat for vowing never to watch Last Tango in Paris again. He put on his big-boy pants and proudly announced his resolve in a mawkish exercise in virtue signaling entitled, “That Famous Rape Scene In ‘Last Tango in Paris’ Was In Fact Not Consensual, Director Says.” In this exercise Mr. Delbyck declares in the first-person pompous, “We’ll never watch this film again.” What a twat. What an ass hat. Continue ...

        Lena Van Haren of Everett Middle School Is Ass Hat of the Week
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  Just when you think progressives couldn't possibly do anything more batshit than some of the batshit things they've done already, along comes some batshit progressive with her head up her ass crashing headlong into the walls of common sense, decency, right thinking, and civic fucking responsibility. That headless horseperson would be Lena Van Haren, principal at Everett Middle School in San Francisco, proud sanctuary city by the bay.
Continue ...

        DeGeneres Wins Asshat Award Again
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  Ellen DeGeneres, with a face only a lesbian could love, has planted that face, and the head to which it is attached, firmly up her ass again. Miss DeGeneres, a putative vegan, has been outed by several animal-advocacy groups because her new ED lifestyle clothing line is being expanded to accommodate shit like suede Grace ankle boots ($250) and the Patty Point Toe cashmere fuck-me pump ($230). The latter features a leather insole lining.
Continue ...

        Oprah Stomps Her Way to This Week's Ass Hat Award
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  Oprah Winfrey gave away a car on Jimmy Kimmel's show last night in a transparent attempt to deflect attention from her failed transparent attempt to draw attention to her new movie, something or other about some butler. As an exercise in hey-look-at-me tone deafness . . .
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        Stevie Wonder Wins Trayvon Martin Ass Hat Award
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  Racial harmony in the United States may not be receding in the rear view mirror of life so much as one might imagine in these post-Trayvon-Martin times.
Continue ...

        Taco Bell Wins Asshat Award
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  We take no pleasure in bestowing this week's asshat award on Taco Bell, which recently bent over frontwards to accommodate a bunch of meddlesome old shits of both sexes at the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI).
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        Asshats of the Week to Everyone Who Supports Joe Paterno
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  The Amalgamated Asshat Association will have to step up production this week in order to make enough asshats for all the Joe Paterno enablers who have earned one.
Continue ...

        Representative Lamar Smith Is the Ass Hat of the Week
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  Lamar Smith, chairman of the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee, is the latest winner of the Postcards from the Pug Bug Ass Hat of the Week Award. Mr. Smith (R-Texas) earned this highly influential prize by sponsoring a bill that encapsulates all that is cynical, imperialistic, and reprehensible about the attitudes of too many residents of these self-important United States.
Continue ...

        Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts, Hooker-Kid Mom Is Ass Hat of the Week
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  What sort of dipshit thinks it's "hysterically funny" to dress her three-year-old daughter as a hooker and shove her onstage before a nationwide television audience on something called Toddlers & Tiaras? How fucked in the head, how worthless in your own mind do you have to be to get off on using a little kid like that? You're almost giving pedophilia a good name. We bet there was nary a dry keyboard among the watch-and-wank set that night.
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        Hillary's Gal Pal Elton Is Ass Hat of the Week
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  Hillary Clinton's gal pal Elton John is the latest recipient of the Postcards from the Pug Bus Ass Hat of the Week award.
Continue ...

        Michael Vick Homies Win Ass Hat of the Week Award
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  While Michael Vick sits in jail trying to master the intricacies of checkers and the ins and outs of prison dating etiquette, he will surely take comfort in knowing that five of his most loyal homies have won the Ass Hat of the Week Award.
Continue ...


© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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