postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.



Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.



There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.


     
image of iconic screaming person
     
two lions having it off
     
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
     
American Freedm Party
     
burma shave sign with jingle
       
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
           
image of worldwide web on computer screen
   
image of bicyclist
 
image of handicapped parking sticker
     
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
     
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

           
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"


Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


        St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast Reductions
                      
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  Saint Theneva of Glasgow was a British princess who enjoyed the horizontal sports from an early age. Her fondness for frolic was something of an embarrassment to her father, Lord Seefeth, who was planning to invade England and sought the favor of god in that enterprise.
Continue ...

        OMG There's a Patron Saint of Shorthand ISYN
                      
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  If you're STD (sick to death) of people who splatter their "writing" with SFS (stupid fucking shorthand), you can thank Saint Cassian of Imola, the OPS (official patron saint) of shorthand.
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        St. Fabian, Patron Saint of Dove Fanciers
                      
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  Fabian d’Fabiano, whose name literally means “Fabian, Son of the Son of Fabian,“ was a poor excuse for an olive farmer, who lived outside Rome. To supplement his pitiful income he raised doves for racing and companionship and, when all else failed, food.
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        Yesterday's Saint, Pope Callistus I, The Tell-All Biography
                      
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  Suppose that Mitt Romney, after losing the 2012 Presidential Election to Barack Obama, somehow manipulated his way into writing not only the official biography of Mr. Obama but also the only one available. We should not be surprised if it contained facts such as “Barack Hussein Obama is a Muslim; he was born in Kenya to a socialist father; he “pals around with terrorists”; he worships at a church run by a radical anti-American cleric; he can't go to his right, on the basketball court or off;” etc.
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        Andre Bissette, the Patron Saint of Viagra
                      
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  The Catholic Church "teaches" that god calls each one of us to be a saint. Most people treat such invitations as crank calls, but your more impressionable types scurry out to get fitted for a sackcloth hoodie and a bed of nails.
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        Saint Dymphna Patron Saint of Home Schooling and West Virginia
                      
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  Imagine you are a fourteen-year-old girl and you discover that your father wants to hook up with you because you resemble your late mother. You've unfriended him on Facebook and you ignore his sext messages, but you still suspect he may have installed a toilet cam in your bathroom.
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        St. Polycarp, Patron Saint of Earwig Sufferers
                      
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  Catholics, as well as Anglicans and Lutherans, suffering from an earwig, a scrap of a song that gets stuck in a person's head and plays on auto loop for days on end, can find relief by praying to St. Polycarp of Symrna, the patron saint of earwig sufferers.
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        Consumer Reports Issues First Rating of Patron Saints
                      
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  The October digital issue of Consumer Reports magazine will contain the venerable product tester's first-ever rating of patron saints. The long-awaited rating is expected to save consumers time and money in seeking heavenly intercession for any of an exhausting list of ailments, both mental and physical, as well as protection against all manner of crimes, pestilence, and natural disasters.
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        Pope Francis Appoints St. Christopher the Patron Saint of Texting
                      
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  In perhaps his most populist and daring move yet, Pope Francis the First, also known as The People's Pope, issued a divine apostolic proclamation (DAP) last week appointing St. Christopher to the position of patron saint of texting.
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        St. Giles, Patron Saint of Breastfeeding, Hermits & Edinburgh, Scotland
                      
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  If you are a breastfeeding hermit living in cave near Edinburgh, Scotland, have we got a saint for you. His name is Giles, and he was born a wealthy nobleman in Athens, Greece, in the seventh century. After his parents had died, Giles frittered away his inheritance helping the poor. That sort of behavior doesn't go unpunished, and soon Giles had attracted a bothersome following . . .
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        Joseph of Cupertino, Patron Saint of Air Travel, Dummies Books
                      
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  On October 4, 1630, the village of Cupertino, Italy, held a procession on the feast day of Saint Francis of Assisi. During the procession a young priest named Joseph, who was there to clean up after the animals, suddenly flew into the sky, where he remained hovering over the crowd for nearly a minute.
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        St. Agatha of Palermo, Patron Saint of Breast Implants and Barbecue
                      
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  Next to the Blessed Virgin Mary's breasts—which no one but the Holy Ghost and the infant Jesus has ever seen—the hooters of St. Agatha of Palermo are the most famous and most venerated in all of christendom.
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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