postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004


Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Let's defund the parking meter police
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
Che stronzi sono le persone
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)


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man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Joe Biden: The Great Auk to the Rescue
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The mascot of the prep school that Joe Biden attended is a large, extinct, flightless bird called the Great Auk. When I arrived at that school...Archmere Academy in Claymont, Delaware...in the fall of 1956, I was puzzled by the choice of the Great Auk (rhymes with squawk ) as a mascot. Then I saw the football team’s first game.
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Oct 25, 2020 - 6:14


Math, Gravity, and Speed Limits Reek of White Supremacy
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Brooklyn College Professor of Math Education Laurie Rubel proclaimed recently on Twitter that the equation 2+2=4 “reeks of white supremacist patriarchy. The idea that math (or data) is culturally neutral or in any way objective is a MYTH.”
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Sep 11, 2020 - 5:55


Are You the Master of Your Bedroom?
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The true conservative does not like anything to happen that has not happened before. He prefers old dogs, old friends, old whiskey, and old songs...old words, too...and he's apt to become shirty when old words get surrounded by crime scene tape strung up by the low priests of political correctness and woke-fucking-culture.
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Sep 8, 2020 - 10:00


The National Basketball Association Can Go Fuck Itself
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If I ever watch another minute of another NBA game, I hope the god that I don't believe in strikes me dead nine ways to Sunday. I'm seeking a their-fault divorce. I have canceled my subscription to the all-you-can-watch NBA League Pass. This interracial marriage cannot be saved.
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Aug 30, 2020 - 7:55


The Alt-Middle: The Silent White Majority
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White is a color that comes in many flavors. There are White Supremacists, White Nationalists, White Separatists, and other, whiter shades of pale. Such groups, no matter what their flavor, are demonized and minimized by their progressive opponents as “the alt-right fringe.”
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Aug 28, 2020 - 12:00


Introducing National Ain’t Woke, Do Not Disturb Day
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The National Day Calendar (NDC) is your go-to source if you want to know when National Tattoo Day is celebrated or when we observe National Baked Bean Month. According to the NDC, July is host to fifteen, month-long celebrations. The honorees include four of our favorite things: ice cream, hot dogs, culinary arts, and grilling--the undisputed king of the culinary arts.
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Jul 27, 2020 - 6:52


Living Among the Blowfish
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The LGBTQ population of the United States is … a) 8.8%, b) 23.6%, c) 4.5%, d) way too annoying? The correct answer is “c,” yet according to a 2017 Gallup poll, most adults in this country would have answered “b,” owing to the fact that most American adults grossly overestimate the percentage of their fellow citizens that bats from the underside of the plate. “Grossly,” as in, by a factor of five: 23.6% to 4.5%.
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Jul 23, 2020 - 7:52


Why I Love the Coronavirus
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COVID-19 is the gift pandemic that keeps on giving: a gleaming, unforgiving mirror that reflects the foibles, failures, and foolhardiness of the American people in 4K mind-blowing splendor. No one is exempt, Skippy, not republicans, democrats, libertarians, vegans, transvestites, independents, eggheads, skinheads, straights, non-straights (I got your binary, here), cisgenders, misgenders, those who think the Redskins’ name was OK and those who don’t. Have I missed anybody? COVID-19 won’t. You’ve got to respect an opponent like that. We might have the makings of a dynasty on our hands.
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Jul 20, 2020 - 7:57


The Pug Bus Loudly Endorses Donald Trump for President
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Postcards from the Pug Bus sez it loud and sez it proud: We fucking endorse Donald John Trump for re-election to the office of president of the United States. If Mr. Trump is good enough for the National Association of Police Organizations, he's good enough for us. The association, to be sure, is all that stands between us, the Mau Maus, and a trash can hurled through our favorite restaurant's front window.
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Jul 16, 2020 - 9:01


Quit Calling It a Fucking Mural
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A distressing number of Black Lives Matter "murals" have sprouted up recently like so many mushrooms out of a mycelium of resentment and hate. That doesn't necessarily mean shit to a toad, but the inclination of the press to refer to these eruptions as "murals" makes me wonder if they've ever seen a real mural. It also makes me wonder if black people will ever wake up to the fact that their minders, both black and white, treat them like mushrooms: keeping ‘em in the dark and feeding ‘em dung.
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Jul 13, 2020 - 11:39




© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


The Pug Bus Interview
phil maggitti smoking a joint Smoke 'em if you got 'em, then enjoy the interviews nobody else has the onions to do. Our fearless interviewer isn't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.