Paul McCartney, Iraq War, Mystery Sculpture Top News Headlines
By Reuters

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Paul McCartney is rid of Heather Mills; the War in Iraq is five years old; the Houston Rockets winning streak is history; but the big news today is the appearance of a mystery sculpture on the Postcards from the Pug Bus compound near West Chester, Pennsylvania.

The sculpture, which one observer described as looking like a cross between an Afghan hound in heat and a Tennessee walking horse with a stick up its ass, appeared on the 1.2-acre site early Monday morning.

“At first we thought the sumbitch had escaped from Burning Man,” said Pug Bus editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti.

“Then we figured some goddamn elementary school class had sneaked onto the compound overnight and put up another fucking memorial to Barbaro. They're all over this area, and before you can say "who gives a shit," it will be Kentucky Derby time again.”

Mr. Maggitti said he had no plans to remove the sculpture, though he would entertain offers for it.

"If somebody's looking to trade his kingdom for a horse, we've got just the thing for him."