Hillary Clinton Regrets Not Regretting War Authorization Vote
By Biff Scuzzy

"Regrets, I've had a few, but then again too few to mention."

DES MOINES, Iowa - Hillary Clinton dropped a nuance at last night’s presidential debate at Drake University when she told the audience that she now regrets having said she did not regret her Iraqi war authorization vote.

“I was, perhaps, too forthright for my own good when I said that I did not regret voting to give President Bush the power to conduct the war in Iraq, I only regretted the way he had conducted that war,” Senator Clinton declared. “Since then I have come to regret my candor, so let me say now that I regret having said that I had no regrets about authorizing the war.”

Senator Clinton was equally decisive when she was asked if she thought her pro-war vote was a mistake.

“Insofar as admitting to having a regret can be equated to admitting that one made a mistake, then, yes, I suppose it would be accurate to allow that inference to go unchallenged.”

Senator Clinton’s remark was pounced on immediately by Delaware Senator Joe Biden, who, like Senator Clinton’s other fellow candidates John Edwards and Christopher Dodd, also voted in October 2003 to authorize the war.

"Raise your hand if you don't believe in evolution and you do believe homosexuality is a choice."

“Why doesn’t Senator Clinton just admit she made a mistake when she voted to authorize the war?” asked Senator Biden rhetorically. Then, hastening to answer rhetorically, he said, “I’ll tell you why, since you asked, because she’s afraid of alienating the undecided, slightly right-of-center, former Reagan Democrats. That’s why.

“This country needs a president who isn’t afraid to alienate people. Hell, I alienated many African Americans when I said—and without an apparent trace of irony, I might add—that Barack Obama, even though he isn’t fit to be president, is undeniably clean-cut and articulate.”