Tom Cruise Apology Was Perfect Hallmark Moment
By Matthew Congdon

LOS ANGELES - Looks like the Cruise control has been kicked in high gear, as Tom's team sees the Mission Impossible star's newfound gift of sincere sentiment as the perfect "Career, Take Two."

Celebratty Chatter has learned that Tom's recent meeting with (and subsequent apology to) Brooke Shields was prompted when Mr. Cruise sent a heartfelt handmade card that had Brooke's eyes wide shut with tears.

Inside sources say the outside of the card featured a playful pair of papier-mâché calico cats, but the real artistry was the poem inside. This just-leaked verse has all of Hollywood thinking. For a star who strikes such a health-conscious pose, this Magnolia cupcake is surprisingly gooey in his prosody.


Dear Brooke,

Paxil is pink, Zoloft is blue,

Tom Cruise turns chatty catty to patch things up with Brooke.

Your pill popping's swell, your postpartum true.
My agent agrees, my career's going bust
So I thought, what's the best way to say I was unjust?
Some chocolate, a Lexus, or one perfect flower?
After freaking on Today, that worked for Matt Lauer.
But Kate said, “Play it cool, not all ‘show me the money!'
Have a chat over omelets, hopefully not runny.”
So, Brooke, I'll apologize for my crazy accusin'
If you'll say your sorry for Suddenly Susan.

Godspeed,

Tom