Debra Lafave Florida Sex Teacher Busted for Girl Talk
By Biff Scuzzy

Employee of the Month February 2006, March 2006, April 2006, etc.

TAMPA, Fla. – One-time Tampa middle school teacher Debra Lafave, currently serving house arrest for having tantric sex with a fourteen-year-old male student in a moving vehicle while listening to a Sting CD, has been arrested for violating the terms of her probation.

According to a Florida Department of Corrections report, Ms. Lafave, 27, “shit the bed big time” when she discussed family problems, boyfriends, sexual techniques, cheer-
leading, and feminine lubricants with a seventeen-year-old fellow waitress at a Danny Boy's restaurant.

The conversations were illegal—and could earn Ms. Lafave up to fifteen years of donut bumping a Florida prison—because they took place in private. Ms. Lafave is not permitted to have unsupervised contact with minors without a note from her probation officer; nor is she permitted within one thousand feet of schools, adult bookstores, dog parks, flea markets, car washes, and daycare centers.

Ms. Lafave worked at Danny Boy's from January 2005 through November 2006. She was considered an exemplary worker even though her presence at the restaurant created the occasional distraction.

“High school kids thought it was terribly clever to come in, order $3.97’s worth of food, and then say dumb-ass things like, “I’ll have one of her to go” when their waitresses ask if there is anything else they’d like.

Soon to be a major motion picture; Tara Reid is Debra Lafave.

“Or, if they were ‘lucky’ enough to sit in Debbie’s station, they’d order things like a muff burger with nothing on it. Dumb shit like that.”

Missy Sigur-Ros, the waitress with whom Ms. Lafave shared some of her expertise, told reporters, “It’s like totally bogus that Debbie had to quit just because she was nice enough to take the time to explain some stuff to me. Like I never would have known what a ‘reach around’ or a ‘dirty Sanchez’ or an ‘F'donk’ was if Debbie hadn’t told me.”

Ms. Lafave, who was arrested Tuesday morning, was released from jail after promising to appear in court at a later date, as yet undetermined.