Hillary Clinton Removes Bra During Iowa Church Service
By Biff Scuzzy

WATERLOO, Iowa - Hillary Clinton threw down the gauntlet and her red-white-and-blue bra at the Mt. Carmel Missionary Baptist Church in Waterloo yesterday, enlivening an otherwise a vapid campaign appearance.

Ms. Clinton and her husband arrived midway through the service and settled into seats near the preacher’s lectern. The sparse crowd that had braved snowy weather to attend the service applauded as the Clintons entered the church.

When the Reverend F.T. Whitfield introduced President Clinton, the minister made reference to the popular VH1 show I Love New York on which a contestant once told a story about meeting the former president, who took of his tie and gave it to the man. At the end of the story the Reverend Whitfield paused and said, “I do like neckties.”

President Clinton spoke for roughly three minutes, touting his wife’s qualifications and achievements and her chicken Kiev recipe. At the end of his remarks the former president took off his orange tie and gave it to Reverend Whitfield.

When Mrs. Clinton followed her husband to the podium, she talked about domestic issues such as health care and education. At the conclusion of her seven-minute address, she suddenly shouted, “If the reverend likes ties, perhaps he’ll like this.”

At that she turned her back to the congregation and reached underneath the jacket of her pants suit. After fumbling beneath the jacket for an awkward minute, during which one reporter could be heard muttering, “Take it all off,” the former first lady removed her red-white-and-blue bra, waved it over her head, and tossed it playfully at the reverend.

“Let’s see that pencil-necked geek Mike Huckabee top that,” she laughed. “I challenge him to remove his what-would-Jesus-do jockey shorts and toss them into a crowd.”

Mrs. Clinton’s outburst did not surprise some reporters, who have noticed a growing tendency on her part to upstage her husband, who remains not only the better looking but also the more popular of the two.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she started peeing standing up,” said a writer for Rolling Stone magazine. "She's already taken to farting in front of reporters just to prove she can be one of the boys."