Will Smith Denounced by JDL for Saying Hitler Was Probably Human
By Biff Scuzzy

Photo courtesy of Will Smith.

LOS ANGELES - Actor, rapper, and Tom Cruise butt buddy Will Smith got royally tarred and feathered by the JDL (Jewish Defense League) for advancing the theory that Adolph Hitler, despite his record, may have been human.

Mr. Smith, never one to be mistaken for the sharpest tool in the shed, made that observation to a reporter from Scotland's Daily Record.

"Even Hitler began life as a cute little baby, just like the rest of us," said Mr. Smith. "He didn't wake up each day going, 'Let me do the most evil thing I can today.'

"I think Hitler woke up in the morning and, using a twisted, backwards logic, set out to do what he thought was 'good.'"

The same might be said of Mr. Smith, but you won't catch the JDL permitting anyone to say it. Ignoring Mr. Smith's reputation as the African American least likely to give offense, the JDL called his remarks "ignorant, detestable, and offensive."

The group then urged Senator Barack Obama, whom Mr. Smith supports, to repudiate the actor's statements about Hitler, particularly the bit about Hitler being a good dog owner.

Photo courtesy of Will Smith.

Quicker than you could say, "My remarks were blown out of context," Mr. Smith badmouthed the writer who had interviewed him and prostated himself before the JDL.

"[The story] is an awful and disgusting lie," said Mr. Smith. "I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation. Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous, vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet."

Mr. Smith neglected to say where taking money from people to watch the likes of I Am Legend and The Pursuit of Happyness ranks among the world's greatest evils.