Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn Blame Breakup on Name Calling
By Matthew Congdon

MALIBU - It's official. Despite months of speculation, a denial from Jennifer Aniston on Oprah, and a tabloid-suing Vince Vaughn, friends of The Break-Up duo insist that this twosome is irretrievably broke.

The cause, it appears, was the usual "he said, she said." Apparently, he said Vaugniston and she said Jennivince until they both called the whole thing off.

"They just didn't work as a name," said Team Aniston supporter and the better half of Benifer®, actress Jennifer Garner. "It's sad, but what are you gonna do?"

"They realized there was no foundation," explained Vince's Wedding Crashers pal and half of O-Kat®, Owen Wilson. "Without a catchy hook, how can you catch the love—or the headlines?"

Friends close to the pair said the split was painful, both emotionally and grammatically.

"They went through so many versions trying to make one stick: Vincifer, J-Vaughn, Vaniston," said one of Aniston's former Friends pals, off the record.

"Jen really pushed for Jenivaughn. She's a women's libber."

But, by the time they had gotten to Vincestonanivaughnfer, the misspelling was on the wall.

We checked in with celebrity love guru Dr. Phil for his insight into this high profile hyphenated split.

"Sometimes the stars line up but the syllables don't," sighed the daytime diva. "Of course Ms. Aniston's ex-hubby's rebound added to the tension. Love is a two-way street, but the Madison Avenue magic of Brangelina® doesn't roll off the tongue every day."

Next time, friends say, Jen is doing her homework. The perky Rumor Has It star has already been linked to Down Under dreamboat Orlando Bloom; not for his oh-so-lovable looks, but his oh-so-linkable name.

Insiders point to Jen's recent notebook scrawlings of Jenlando and Anibloom as proof that when it comes to Vince Vaughn, Jennifer is quickly adjusting to the Friends role and looking elsewhere for that love match. If in name only.