Hillary Clinton Mulls Whores’ Support
By Ted Gay

LOS ANGELES - With the announcement that former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss has thrown her support behind Hilary Clinton’s campaign for president, the former first lady has to decide whether to acknowledge the support of all the women who slept with her husband during his presidency.

Fleiss, convicted on charges of connection to prostitution in 1995, now lives in Pahrump, Nevada (coincidently her nickname for the former president is “Paparump”). She tried to attend a Clinton fundraiser in Nevada but was turned away after being told the building was filled to capacity. The hall, which can accommodate fifteen hundred people, held seven supporters at the time.

Fleiss presently runs a Nevada Laundromat called “Dirty Laundry,” which promises to “fluff, fold and fuck” within a half hour or the blowjob is free. She also plans to build a Nevada brothel that is an exact replica of the White House because “when Bill comes to Dirty Laundry, he always has trouble finding the bathroom.”

To date Fleiss has contributed more than $2,000 to the Clinton campaign, all in sweaty $100 bills.

Other notorious women supporting Hilary are D.C. madam Deborah Palfrey and former porn star Jenna Jamison, who said she was “pulling for Clinton because, after all, I spent years pulling on her husband, so it’s the least I can do.”

The swelling ranks of the Bibmo Factor touch a sensitive nerve for Senator Clinton: whether to accept the support of other women who slept with her husband while he was president—including but not limited to Monica Lewinsky, Bea Arthur, the really thin Olson twin, Madeline Albright, Phyllis Diller, Grace Slick, Margaret Thatcher, Tipper Gore, Jocelyn Elders, Maya Angelou, and RuPaul.