The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag
English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Visit The Grammar Prick
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Sample chapters . . . 1 2
Official Stepin Fetchit
These are the times that try men's souls. Never in the course of our nation's history has the N-Word been used by so many people so often. Here at the Pug Bus we believe, as do all decent Americans, that we must work without ceasing and without direction to stamp out the use of this hateful word—and to stamp out the careers of people who use it even once. Therefore, we are introducing our Official Stepin Fetchit N-Word Counter™, which reports the number of times the N-Word has been used any place in America since you landed on this page. (Figures do not include uses in hip-hop or rap or on premium channels.)
The Grammar Prick Sticks It to Alanis Morissette
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - When President Obama said that America had been "lazy" for the past few decades, he was talking about our national language scandal. Americans, the president said, are too lazy to search for the home run utterance; they settle instead for a cheap single up the middle; and that, boys and girls, is why the word ironic has been bastardized beyond recognition.
Nov 30, 2011 - 10:04
The Grammar Prick Fingers Three Who Misused Begs the Question
WEST CHESTER, Penna, - Hello, boys and girls. The Grammar Prick has a treat for you today. Instead of our regular quiz designed to irritate you and to undermine your confidence in your "language arts skills," we're going to present our first Helmet Head® awards, which are designed to irritate "professionals" whose "language arts skills" have already been undermined.
Oct 30, 2011 - 10:21
The Grammar Prick Sticks It to The Neosecularist and ESPN
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - While navigating the backwaters of the internet yesterday, I nearly ran aground on a website entitled The Neosecularist. What brought me up startled was this sentence: "There is some graphic descriptions of abortion procedures in this column."
Oct 19, 2011 - 12:54
The Grammar Prick Rides Hobson's Choice to Victory
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - While simultaneously watching The Hour on BBC America last night and reading Nina Burleigh's The Fatal Gift of Beauty: The Trials of Amanda Knox, I heard one of the characters on The Hour refer to a choice between two unpleasant alternatives as a "Hobson's choice."
Oct 4, 2011 - 12:01
The Grammar Prick Dares You to Take This Pronoun Test
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - This morning I read the following sentence on a blog: "Anyone who thinks that having a child will improve their marriage has it all wrong." Now I ask you, fellow English speakers, did you find any grammatical spanners in the works here?
Sep 22, 2011 - 11:08
© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.
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This farm-to-table shit has gone too far. The next time some dipshit waiter begins telling you where your lamb chop came from, tell him to piss off. You want dinner, not a fucking geography lesson.
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