Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
You will have a strange dream in which you see a giant field of sunflowers in the distance. As you race toward the field in slow motion, you begin to hear a sound coming from the sunflowers. When you reach the field, you discover that the sunflowers have the faces of The Village People, and they're singing "YMCA."
cover of pug bus book

Postcards from the Pug Bus, the book that inspired a website, is now available from Cedar Tree Books. Click here to read a sample chapter.
screw the riaa
Strike a blow for freedom. Download music today.
Humor Feed Banner
Skype Outage Only the Beginning Warns an Angry God
LUXEMBOURG – God has claimed full responsibility for the mysterious Skype outage that left an estimated five to six million of his subjects unable to make phone calls or to send instant messages via the popular Internet-based service last week. More.
Aug 22, 2007, 10:59


Exodus International Touts Turnaround for Homosexual Priests
ORLANDO, Florida - Exodus International, the Christian evangelical fellowship renowned for its success in turning gays and lesbians into “socially useful” heterosexuals, announced yesterday that a group of more than one thousand gay men has turned “effectively heterosexual” as a result of the ex-gay therapy promoted by Exodus. More.
Aug 16, 2007, 10:44


Instant Karma Author to Appear at Philadelphia Rally
PHILADELPHIA – Sri Edward Boghaven, author of Instant Karma: How to Appear Worthy Even When You're Being a Total Dick, will address twenty thousand of his followers tonight at a rally scheduled to begin at 7:30 in Philadelphia’s Wachovia Center. More.
Jul 23, 2007, 12:16


Paris Hilton Interview Denied by Jesus
LOS ANGELES – Hoping to preempt Paris Hilton’s sure-to-come assertion that it was her discovery of Jesus Christ, and Mr. Christ’s discovery of her, that got her through those long nights in prison, Mr. Christ has emailed a statement to the Los Angeles Times. The email, from yaweh333@yahoo.com, arrived at the newspaper’s editorial office late yesterday afternoon. More.
Jun 23, 2007, 10:04


Paris Hilton Blames Mother for Monks' Mandala Massacre
HOLLYWOOD - Sri Paris Hilton said yesterday that "God will punish" the mother of the little boy who turfed a sand mandala on the floor of the Union Station in Kansas City, Missouri. Ms. Hilton, who has begun calling herself Sri Paris as a consequence of her "recent spiritual experiences," talked with paparazzi outside the Bodhi Tree bookstore. More.
May 25, 2007, 10:21


Pope Benedict Urges Peace on The Sopranos in Easter Address
VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict XVI devoted his annual Easter address to a condemnation of the violence on HBO's hit series The Sopranos and to a call for peace among the warring factions on the show, which, coincidentally, aired the first of its final nine episodes last night. More.
Apr 9, 2007, 09:27


Chocolate Jesus Penis Stolen, Display Canceled
Partial image.
NEW YORK — Someone stole the penis from the nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ that had been scheduled to go on display in New York tomorrow night. The theft was discovered early this morning by a custodian at the Lab Gallery in the Roger Smith Hotel, where the exhibition was to have taken place. More.
Apr 1, 2007, 09:34


Sarah Silverman Snub Has God Lovers Fuming
NEW YORK - Sarah Silverman has had her last orgasm if God's followers have anything to say about it. Friends of the Big Guy are praying that Ms. Silverman's morning-
after kiss off, seen last week on the season's finale of her Comedy Central show, will come back to bite her on the ass—something she apparently did not want her Heavenly Father doing any longer. More.
Mar 14, 2007, 05:52


Britney Spears Is the Antichrist, Says Noted Exorcist
MALIBU - Britney Spears' claim to be the Antichrist should not be taken lightly, says James J. LeBar, chief exorcist for the Archdiocese of New York. Father LeBar, a veteran of more than forty exorcisms, observed Ms. Spears yesterday at Promises-by-the-Sea Tranquility Centre. He was shaken by what he saw. More.
Mar 5, 2007, 10:30


God Scorns Windows Vista, Sues Microsoft
HEAVEN - Windows Vista, Microsoft's controversial new operating system, has incurred the wrath of God. The Supreme Power User, operating through his purchasing agent, the Holy Spirit, was one of the first to buy Vista when it went on sale Tuesday. He paid $299 (US) for the Vista Ultimate upgrade, the most powerful of Vista's ten editions. The results were not pleasing in his sight. More.
Feb 3, 2007, 12:34

© The fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously.