The Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
 Now is the time to spread your wings, to wax extravagant, to wax that excess body hair, to use the high-price spread and the extra-wide spreader. Don't settle for mushrooms when truffles are available. Be bold, defy convention, defy the odds. Do not, however, attempt to defy gravity. She's not in a pleasant mood this time of year, and she's cranky in anticipation of the demands of increased holiday travel. If you keep it low and slow, you'll rise to new heights.
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Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Katie Holmes Thanksgiving Message
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - This Thanksgiving, while you're stuffing yourself with enough food to sustain a Third World orphan for a year—wishing that your bore-ass of a brother-
in-law would choke on a drumstick and that your family members were more fashionably dressed—remember that Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Katie Holmes, and other celebrities observe Thanksgiving just as you do, except they have lots more to be thankful about.
More.
Nov 23, 2006, 10:12
Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Anna Nicole Smith Approval Drops
NEW YORK - According to the latest New York Times/CBS News poll, Brad Pitt and Clay Aiken registered the greatest increase in their job-approval ratings, while Tom Cruise, Anna Nicole Smith, Lindsay Lohan, and others saw their job performance scores drop. The poll, which has a 3.5 percent margin of correctness, was conducted between September 15 and 17. The winners and losers:
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Sep 21, 2006, 10:24
Brad Pitt, Paris Hilton, Michelle Wie Offer Lame Excuses
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Brad Pitt can't persuade Angelina Jolie to marry him. Paris Hilton is loaded in public again. Michelle Wie adds to her losing streak. What do they do? They make lame excuses. Why not? In the looking-glass world, excuses are the new reality, a reality that's subject to change without warning.
More.
Sep 10, 2006, 08:09
Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, Pee Wee Herman Vie for John Mark Karr Role
HOLLYWOOD - Flush with an infusion of coin from hedge fund sources, Tom Cruise announced yesterday that he is "over the moon" about the chance to play John Mark Karr, the lube job who thinks he killed JonBenet Ramsey, Natalee Holloway, Chandra Levy, and others.
More.
Aug 31, 2006, 08:25
Paris Hilton, Whitney Houston, Jessica Simpson Drop CDs and Teeth
LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson have new CDs out this month. Whitney Houston expects three more teeth to fall out any day now. When news happens, and even when it doesn't, the Pug Bus is your most reliable source of misinformation. Would we lie to you?
More.
Aug 22, 2006, 10:14
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