Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
You will have a strange dream in which you see a giant field of sunflowers in the distance. As you race toward the field in slow motion, you begin to hear a sound coming from the sunflowers. When you reach the field, you discover that the sunflowers have the faces of The Village People, and they're singing "YMCA."
cover of pug bus book

Postcards from the Pug Bus, the book that inspired a website, is now available from Cedar Tree Books. Click here to read a sample chapter.
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Tips for Improving Your Karma in 2010
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Contrary to popular opinion—and to the creators of My Name Is Earl—karma is not about payback, nor is it about living right so you don't come back as a port-o-potty in the next life, and it sure as hell ain’t about some Great Score Keeper in the sky. More.
Dec 31, 2009, 14:49


Police Searching for Stolen Breast Implants
PENNSAUKEN, N.J. - Police are searching for a pair of 38-D breast implants obtained under false pretenses earlier this month. The breasts were lifted from the Route 70 Center for Plastic Surgery by a thirty-year-old, red-headed woman who used a bogus ID to pay the first of three, easy $4,000 installments for body and fender work that included the missing breast implants, liposuction, and mustache removal. More.
Dec 21, 2009, 11:20


NuvaRing Launches New Marketing Campaign
WHITEHOUSE STATION, N.J.- NuvaRing, the world's largest round contraceptive device, has seen its image go pear shaped owing to a dungstorm of lawsuits filed on behalf of persons who have died or who have otherwise been discommoded while using NuvaRing. Consequently Merck pharmaceutical company is launching Let Freedom Ring, an ad campaign designed to "square the circle with NuvaRing," said Jeanne Larouche, a Merck official. More.
Dec 18, 2009, 12:48


CFA Says Tiger Is Most Popular Cat Password
MANASQUAN, N.J. - According to The Cat Fanciers' Association (CFA), the world's largest registry of pedigreed cats, the cat name used most frequently as a computer password among its members is Tiger. More.
Dec 16, 2009, 11:41


Parental Controls Fail: Porn, Stupid TV, Cooking Shows Still Dominate
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Despite their widespread use, parental controls have been a disappointment as a means of empowering children to control their parents' Internet and television viewing. More.
Nov 15, 2009, 09:32


Detroit Automobile Slump Cited for Drop in Autoeroticism
DETROIT – Plummeting sales of domestic automobiles are being blamed for the recent drop in reported cases of autoeroticism. Once the guilty pleasure of hardcore sexual deviants, autoeroticism—the act of sexual congress with the tail pipe of an automobile—had begun to make significant mainstream inroads thanks to the scene in Jackass 2 in which Dev-O gets it on with a Ford Explorer in the parking lot of Philadelphia's Lincoln Financial Field prior to an Eagles game. More.
Mar 3, 2009, 11:48


President Obama Plans Portuguese Water Dog Bailout
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Having asked Congress for three trillion dollars to bail out banks, mortgage scofflaws, the educational system, health care, and the Recording Industry Association of America, President Barack Obama is poised to announce as early as next week his plan to bail out a Portuguese water dog from an animal shelter. More.
Feb 26, 2009, 13:06


Will Smith to Play Barack Obama in Fresh Prince of D.C.
LOS ANGELES – Will Smith Productions has announced that founder and HMFIC, Will Smith, will play President Barack Obama in a television series entitled The Fresh Prince of D.C., which is scheduled to debut on CoLoursTV in the fall. More.
Feb 22, 2009, 11:13


Chris Brown Bobblehead Doll Attacks Paris Hilton Doll
LOS ANGELES – Police announced yesterday that they were seeking a Chris Brown bobblehead doll for questioning in connection with an alleged attack on a Paris Hilton bobblehead doll that occurred in a closet in the Apollo Doll Company. More.
Feb 15, 2009, 15:29


Dr. Phil Visits Jessica Sierra
TAMPA, Fla. – Jessica Sierra is the latest fly catcher to get a surprise visit from celebrity-train-wreck chaser Dr. Phil. More.
Jan 9, 2008, 08:35

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