Your Seldom Daily Horoscope
Your sun is in arrears and your moon is in contempt. Ordinarily this would mean that you should be incognito, but these are not ordinary times. The presence of the planet Dipthong in your literary house and the emergence of the Ringo star in your musical constellation point to the need for the bold initiative instead. Remember, the grand gesture is the prelude to grand success. Think large, live large, and-as Lane Bryant is my judge-large will be your shadow on the world's stage.
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The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a powdery, old-hag English teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive.
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website is available from Cedar Tree Books. Written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any mailbox. Sample chapters:
Free the Music
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Obama to Name William Ayers Secretary of Education
CHICAGO - President elect Barack Obama is expected to name Chicago educator William Ayers to the post of secretary of education.
Nov 6, 2008, 16:46
John McCain Blows Face Off in Final Debate
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Facial tics told the tale during last night's third and final presidential debate between senators Barack Obama and John McCain. More precisely, Senator McCain's face betrayed a variety of emotions and hidden personae, all struggling in vain to stay hidden.
Oct 16, 2008, 13:03
Meet Joe the Plumber
TOLEDO, Ohio - Someone named Joe the Plumber was mentioned nearly two dozen times in last night's third and final presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain.
Oct 16, 2008, 08:22
John McCain Dumps Sarah Palin for Her Pregnant Daughter, Bristol
WASILLA, Ak. -- In a last-ditch effort to appeal to the coveted base of evangelical voters, the McCain campaign has replaced vice-presidential running mate, Sarah Palin, with her daughter and pregnant teen, Bristol.
Oct 15, 2008, 11:16
John McCain Vows to Pardon O.J. Simpson
SEDONA, Arizona – Republican presidential nominee John McCain said yesterday that if he is elected, he will “reach across the aisle to my friends in the colored community” by pardoning O.J. Simpson.
Oct 7, 2008, 10:13
Sarah Palin Suspends Campaign, Cancels Debate
SEDONA, Arizona – Republican vice presidential nominee, Sarah Palin, announced last night that “because of this darn economic thing and, you know, all kinds of other crazy stuff goin’ on,” she is suspending her campaign immediately—and bowing out of tomorrow night’s debate with Joe Biden—to return to Alaska, “for breast awareness month.”
Oct 1, 2008, 11:17
Hillary's Tits at Odds over Campaign Strategy
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The mood swings and contradictory statements that have characterized Hillary Clinton's campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination can be traced to the senator's breasts, according to one insider.
May 14, 2008, 11:48
Obama Gets Down to Connect with Voters
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In preparation for the upcoming presidential primaries in Oregon and Kentucky, Barack Obama made appearances at local sports venues in those states in an attempt to shed his elitist image and to appeal to the common man.
May 11, 2008, 09:34
Chelsea Clinton Nixes Questions about Trojan Horse
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Chelsea Clinton brings her girl-in-the-bubble tour to West Chester University this afternoon, and students have been warned that anyone who asks a question about the Trojan Horse on the Postcards from the Pug Bus compound nearby will be removed from the gathering by force if necessary and may face disciplinary action.
Mar 27, 2008, 13:09
Eliot Spitzer's Wife Had Him by the Junk
NEW YORK - Former New York governor Eliot Spitzer is said to be responding well to the genital reconstructive surgery he underwent following his admission two weeks ago that he had consorted with high-dollar prostitutes.
Mar 26, 2008, 09:07
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The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Flip the Bird to Before You Die
3. Seat Belts
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. The Bucket List
7. Classical Music
8. Pissing Indoors All the Time
10. Going to Bed Early.