The Daily Horoscope (Ramp Accessible)
Now is the time to spread your wings, to wax extravagant, to wax that excess body hair, to use the high-price spread and the extra-wide spreader. Don't settle for mushrooms when truffles are available. Be bold, defy convention, defy the odds. Do not, however, attempt to defy gravity. She's not in a pleasant mood this time of year, and she's cranky in anticipation of the demands of increased holiday travel. If you keep it low and slow, you'll rise to new heights.
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Jessica Sierra Sex Tape Shot in Motel 6, Exclusive
LAKELAND, Fla. - The Jessica Sierra sex tape, about to hit the Internet like a thousand pair of soiled panties flung against a wall, was shot in a Motel 6 in Florida, a source as close as anyone wants to get to the “singer” has revealed.
More.
Dec 8, 2007, 09:12
Jessica Sierra First American Idol Sex Video Star
LOS ANGELES – Jessica Sierra, who shot to fame as the third contestant eliminated from American Idol 2005, has been a busy little beaver in the meantime.
More.
Dec 7, 2007, 14:22
Britney Spears Joins Drunks Against Mad Mothers Group
LOS ANGELES – After attending several meetings of DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers), Britney Spears has decided to join the group, a former assistant revealed.
More.
Dec 3, 2007, 14:25
Britney Spears Pregnant Again, May Lose Custody of Vagina
LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears is pregnant again, and the troubled singer is terrified she might lose custody of her vagina as a result. A source close to Ms. Spears, who turns twenty-six today, told THEM Weekly, “Britney’s freaking out because this pregnancy is the last thing her vagina needs.”
More.
Dec 2, 2007, 12:46
Hayden Panettiere Obsessed with Angelina Jolie
LOS ANGELES - Heroes star Hayden Panettiere, 18, confessed to GQ magazine that she “like totally wishes” she were a lesbian so she could do the reverse horizontal bop with Angelina Jolie.
More.
Nov 27, 2007, 11:07
Jessica Simpson Snatches Baby Crib at Birds
LOS ANGELES – Jessica Simpson was questioned briefly by Los Angeles police Wednesday night after she had snatched a baby crib at Birds and attempted to leave the crowded restaurant-hangout with it.
More.
Nov 23, 2007, 14:51
Vanessa Hudgens Launches Sex Video Hotline
HOLLYWOOD – Now that High School Musical 3 is scheduled to begin filming next Valentine's Day, Vanessa Hudgens, 18, has decided to put paid once and for all to the continuous rumors about the dozens of sex videos she is alleged to have made since her sixteenth birthday.
More.
Nov 22, 2007, 13:49
Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton Discuss Sex in Jail
MACON CITY, Geo. - Making good on their pledge to help change the world, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Paris Hilton held a panel discussion that airs on The Oprah Winfrey Show Tuesday November 20.
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Nov 18, 2007, 12:31
Boy George Accused of Foolish Imprisonment
LONDON – Pop swinger Boy George was charged with foolish imprisonment, careless whispers, and reckless misapplication of foodstuffs today. The legal action was brought as a result of a complaint lodged against Mr. George by a midget from The Long and Short of It, a male escort service popular with London hipsters and members of the royal family.
More.
Nov 13, 2007, 13:25
Prince Harry, Chelsy Davy Breakup Quiz
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Royal watchers have been off their HP Sauce since British tabloids began reporting over the weekend that Prince Harry and his current amuse-bouche, Chelsy Davy, have come a cropper—or cropped a comer, as the case may be.
More.
Nov 12, 2007, 13:47
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