Your Daily Horoscope
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You will have a strange dream in which you see a giant field of sunflowers in the distance. As you race toward the field in slow motion, you begin to hear a sound coming from the sunflowers. When you reach the field, you discover that the sunflowers have the faces of The Village People, and they're singing "YMCA."
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Paris Hilton Finds God in Jail, Starts Her Own Hotline
LOS ANGELES – Like many prisoners with time on their hands, Paris Hilton found god in jail. Ms. Hilton, 26, made the lord’s acquaintance in the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, California, where she served most of a twenty-three day sentence for violating the terms of her drunk-driving probation by operating a motor vehicle with a suspended license.
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Jun 26, 2007, 08:25


Paris Hilton’s Medical Condition a Gripping Saga
LOS ANGELES – A mysterious medical condition made Paris Hilton “a danger to herself and to other inmates” at the Century Regional Detention Facility, said Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca, who ordered Ms. Hilton released from jail early yesterday morning after she had served barely three days of a twenty-three-day sentence for violating the conditions of her probation.
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Jun 8, 2007, 11:50


Paris Hilton Exclusive Jail Sentence Interview
LOS ANGELES - Paris Hilton has been sentenced to forty-five days in a county jail for violating the terms of her drunk-driving probation by operating a motor vehicle with a suspended license.
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May 5, 2007, 10:44


Hugh Grant Arrested for Spilling the Beans at Photographer
LONDON - Hugh Grant was arrested and questioned by police yesterday after he had allegedly littered the road near his West London house with the contents of a tub of baked beans he had hurled at a photographer. The vicious attack, one of the worst cases of littering in recent Chelsea history, is said to have occurred about 10 o'clock Tuesday morning.
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Apr 26, 2007, 09:05


Don Imus to Star with Tom Cruise in Talkback Mountain
LOS ANGELES - Former on-air personality Don Imus has been tipped to star with Tom Cruise in Talkback Mountain, the story of a radio talk show host of the same name who is run out of a small Western town after he mocks the sheriff's handicapped daughter during a live remote from the town's annual chili cookoff.
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Apr 14, 2007, 10:44


Tom Cruise Challenges Global Warming Report
LOS ANGELES - Tom Cruise dismissed the global warming report issued by the United Nations as "a load of pseudo-scientific hooey" that offers "temporary bromides" instead of real solutions to the world's temperature increases.
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Apr 7, 2007, 12:10


Will Katie Holmes See Her Thetan on Groundhog Day?
BEVERLY HILLS - Tomorrow morning at six o'clock Katie Holmes will emerge from her bunker in Tom Cruise' mansion in Beverly Hills. Wearing only a full-length body stocking and unaccompanied for the moment by Posh Spice Beckham, she will stand facing east, arms held loosely at her sides, and hold her breath for ten seconds. She will be observed carefully by Mr. Cruise and several other elders in the Church of Scientology.
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Feb 1, 2007, 08:16


Jennifer Aniston Assails Trendy Adoptions
LOS ANGELES - Jennifer Aniston is mad as hell, and she's not going to take it any more. She's mad at her plastic surgeon, mad at the paparazzi, mad at Vince Vaughn, mad at Brad Pitt; but most of all she's mad at the likes of Angelina Jolie and Madonna for promoting the notion that it's terminally unhip to adopt anything but a Third World child.
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Jan 28, 2007, 09:32


Jennifer Aniston Settles Lawsuit with Mrs. Coffee
LOS ANGELES - Former Friends star Jennifer Aniston has settled a multimillion-dollar lawsuit filed against her by Mrs. Coffee, wife of the popular coffee-making icon Mr. Coffee.
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Jan 27, 2007, 15:55


Paula Abdul Suffering from Rare Disease
LOS ANGELES - Paula Abdul, who is behaving queerly again during televised interviews, suffers from a rare disease that frequently makes her look and act as if she were on the last day of a three-day bender. According to the American Idol judge's private internist, Sydney Lumberra, M.D., Ms. Abdul is afflicted with paradoxical complex, simple regional-and-local pain syndrome (PCSRLPS).
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Jan 22, 2007, 07:52



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