The Daily Horoscope (Ramp Accessible)
Now is the time to spread your wings, to wax extravagant, to wax that excess body hair, to use the high-price spread and the extra-wide spreader. Don't settle for mushrooms when truffles are available. Be bold, defy convention, defy the odds. Do not, however, attempt to defy gravity. She's not in a pleasant mood this time of year, and she's cranky in anticipation of the demands of increased holiday travel. If you keep it low and slow, you'll rise to new heights.
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Lindsay Lohan Drinking Guide
LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan and her culturally challenged publicity whore of a mother are gearing up to celebrate the younger Lohan’s coming of age, a rite of passage to be observed with all the pomp and circumstance befitting an event of its stature on July 2 through 6 at Caesars Palace's Pure nightclub in Las Vegas.
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Jun 15, 2007, 10:18
Angelina Jolie Birthday Horoscope Preview
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Horoscopes by Pugnacious, the half-man, half-beast, half-witted seer possessed with the singular ability to predict the future, sometimes before it occurs. Unlike other astrologists, who describe the world as they see it, Pugnacious sees a world that defies description. Honest to a fault, Pugnacious is the one astrologer not afraid to say, "Who the hell knows?"
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Jun 3, 2007, 16:30
Lindsay Lohan Model Recalled by Mercedes-Benz
MONTVALE, N.J. - Mercedes-Benz USA is recalling its Lindsay Lohan SL65 model. The most powerful production SL model offered by Mercedes, the SL65 features a 604-horsepower, twin-turbocharged V-12 engine and more overall modifications than Joan Rivers
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May 29, 2007, 09:39
Lindsay Lohan Arrested and Charged with Littering
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Lindsay Lohan was arrested early yesterday morning for littering and for leaving a car at the scene of an accident. Charges were brought against the actress after the black Mercedes convertible she had been driving was blindsided by a curb near the corner of Sunset Boulevard and Foothill Drive.
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May 27, 2007, 08:40
Angelina Jolie Makes Brad Pitt Imitate Robert Redford
CANNES - Ever since Angelina Jolie met Brad Pitt, she has been quietly suggesting that it's time for him to leave childish things behind. That advice, first applied to Jennifer Aniston and then to baseball caps worn backward, has now been extended to Mr. Pitt's hairstyle.
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May 24, 2007, 08:20
Angelina Jolie Walks In on Brad Pitt, Takes the Kids
NEW ORLEANS - Angelina Jolie continues to walk in on Brad Pitt when he's in the bathroom, and this habit is taking a toll on their relationship, friends of the couple report. The obvious emotional distance between Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie of late, as well as her recent weight loss, are down to her belief that people who brush together, flush together.
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Apr 11, 2007, 08:32
Lindsay Lohan Vows to Stay the Course
LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan, like her favorite president, George W. Bush, is determined to stay the course. Although Britney Spears has moved on from flashing her bunny to attending church with a posse of armed thugs—and Paris Hilton is more worried about jail time than face time these days—Ms. Lohan is determined to rid the world of underwear no matter how long it takes.
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Mar 30, 2007, 08:27
Angelina Jolie Adoption Reaches Milestone
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - Angelina Jolie is a long way from breaking Mia Farrow's parenting record—four biological and ten or eleven adopted kids—but the Tomb Raider star takes a back seat to nobody when it comes to adopting highways.
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Mar 29, 2007, 16:24
Dina Lohan Booted from View, Rosie O'Donnell Blamed
NEW YORK - Dina Lohan, mother of Lindsay Lohan, was scheduled to appear on The View yesterday, but she got the hook at the last moment. Was she ill? Is her daughter in rehab again? Did she remember that yesterday was the day she was supposed to address the United Nations? Inquiring minds clamored to know.
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Mar 24, 2007, 11:00
Angelina Jolie Adoption Spree Inspires New SAT Questions
PRINCETON, N.J. - Angelina Jolie's mad-brained adoption behavior has inspired the Educational Testing Service in Princeton, New Jersey, to add several new questions to the mathematics portion of its venerable SAT (Scholastic Aptitude Test).
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Mar 16, 2007, 10:44
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